By a quirk of geography California's Napa Valley is blessed with the kind of Mediterranean climate that makes grapes just want to leap out of the soil into your waiting carafe. Conveniently that same quirk of geography also means it's one of the few wedding destinations that's a direct flight from both New York and Sydney. No doubt the entire readership of this blog can rattle off the others, right down to lounge locations and connecting Star Alliance flights.
With a seven year drought showing no signs of breaking, water features are the new Dom Pérignon.
The tiny town of Yountville, aka Thomas Kellerville, is to Napa what East Hampton is to Long Island. The kind of place where every blade of grass is groomed to perfection just in case it's needed for the backdrop of a Vineyard Vines shoot.
Could we be looking at the elusive culprits behind the Great French Laundry Wine Heist of 2015? It obviously wasn't Rock because he would have ended up walking out with a crate of the $4.99 whatever-we-had-leftover blend. Complex cardboard notes complement the big, angular finish.
Sneak preview of the reception venue for the consensus Wedding of the Year. Enjoy the calm before the paparazzi storm.
Purveyors of that laidback NoCal lifestyle line the main street in Yountville. Looks like they've got a winning export on their hands.
The village of Yountville is best known for its most famous establishment, the legendary French Laundry. These days though it's slipped a bit in those rapacious world restaurant rankings. What was once new and fresh - the world's first true destination restaurant - has long since been passed by more exotic locales and vats of liquid nitrogen.
Ask yourself, what would Thomas Keller do?
He'd go a-foraging of course.
This is what giving a drought the middle finger looks like. There's just enough time for a quick cool down before suiting up for the big event.
Drought, what drought? Who needs rain, it just makes the hair frizzy anyway.
You can always tell a car that Rock doesn't drive. Look for something shiny and dent-free.
Smokin' babes, someone pass the XO sauce!
Gott's roadside burger joint is as American as, well, a roadside burger joint that serves up thick malt shakes, classic hamburgers, and onion rings under the blazing California sun. Of course, being the Left Coast the ingredients are locally-sourced, the beer is small-batch craft, and the wines all-organic. Eat a burger, save the world.
The Reception of the Century, with all due respect to David Tyree, kicks off in a private courtyard surrounded by ivy-clad walls. Can't have all those country club folk looking at ordinary walls now can we?
The traditional tea ceremony involves the bride and groom serving a symbolic cup of tea to their relatives. Bit hot out here, got any bubble tea in that thermos?
If you ever need to order tea service folks, these two in the middle are experts now.
Sunburn, we'll go with sunburn. Move along, move along, nothing to see here. And will someone take his champagne glass on the way out please.
As the sun sets the party moves to the wine vaults. There seems to be a lot more wine splashing around outside the barrels than in them.
Hangovers are best cured by getting right back in the saddle. The exclusive Far Niente vineyard is tucked away among the vines well off the main road. Luckily our gracious local hosts Grace and Aaron have a membership that whisks us past the gates and straight into the subterranean tunnels where the magic happens.
A good vintage, if I do say so myself.
Apparently rich folk like to collect vineyards and fast cars. In fact, the immaculately maintained collection of hot rods at Far Niente rivals the wine cellar, which is saying something.
Would you like your Cave Collection collector box delivered by Bentley, sir?
One step at a time, get a driver license first!
Back then drinking and driving was a gentlemen's pursuit.
Ok, so the ones on the left are white and those on the right are red? Bravo, off to a good start Rock.
From old school to new age. If you'd rather have your wines delivered by flying saucer, looking at you Spielberg, then Opus One is the place for you. Not all wine labels work as Federation call signs, but this one won't get you laughed off the com-waves.
All very picturesque until the launch sequence initiates.
Thanks to our hosts for a great day sampling the best of Napa Valley. The final stop of the day is Nickle and Nickle. Somewhat counterintuitively, every bottle is more than a couple of nickels. Go figure.
Here's another idea for when you're faced with that vexing question of how to spend all your money. This barn was originally in New Hampshire and when the vineyard owner took a fancy to it he had it disassembled, shipped across the country, and then laboriously re-assembled piece by piece.
Just in case any of those aforementioned planespotters made it this far.
