Ramen World Cup Part I: Sleepless in Seoul

Ten days, two countries, two kids, and a 12 hour time difference. What could possibly go wrong? Hey it could be worse, you could be the grumpy old Korean lady stuck across the aisle on the same 15 hour flight.

Caffeine. Good idea. It will prove its worth at worth at the 11 hour mark when the Paw Patrol has long been exhausted and the Car Bot anime in Korean with no subtitles is down to the final episode.

15 hours is like what, 1% of your lifetime?

Kids these days. In for a rude shock the first time he pushes the button and a bed doesn't unfold.

As soon as the seatbelt sign is off that door is closing and it ain't reopening for 15 hours.

That's the sweet, sweet sight of victory. Hey you gotta take the wins that you can get, even if they are only over a grouchy old Korean lady.

Hold the champagne. Turns out switching 12 time zones is a bit harder than switching Paw Patrol to Rusty Rivets.

Sleepless in Seoul, part one of five. Turns out there's an episode playing every night we're here, fancy that.

If you're going to be wide awake might as well hang with the late-night salarymen.

Executive dining room. So, what do you think of that mezzanine financing package on the table? The one from Softbank? That's not the mezzanine that's the penthouse.

A bit of Insta-bait. It's working, five stars for the Four Seasons, that's one for each season plus a bonus star for when global warming adds a new one.

The sun is up. The kids are up. The parents aren't really up but hey, let's get this show on the road.

Nothing says central planning like boulevards designed for a phalanx of tanks. Or American stroller technology.

What's the only thing that's opened at this ungodly hour? Why the fish market of course. First cultural lesson of the day: how to bid on the day's king crab catch without losing an appendage.

Second cultural lesson of the day: trying to eat at a restaurant where you have to bring your own fish from the market downstairs is probably best done in a land where tuna comes in cans from Whole Foods.

Luckily not every eatery requires you to win the blue fin tuna auction to actually eat. Dumplings are plentiful this side of the DMZ.

As far as kid friendly societies go Korea is right up there with the best. I mean how many playgrounds in New York have a spotless map guiding you to each attraction? Of course, this is also a country that's so organized it puts maps in bathrooms, you know, just in case you mixed up the sinks and the urinals. On second thought, with Ryan in tow that's a handy feature.

Playgrounds like this must be how they bribe their kids to study for 15 hours a day.

It can't be the R line, not enough rats.

The ultra-hip Itaewon hood is where the cool kids hang. You know, like that BTS boy band that looks like a girl band.

Daddy, is that the hipster coffee Uncle Jared drinks?

T is for Tasting Notes.

The Samsung art museum. Free entry if I flash my Galaxy?

Forget the boring art, how about some latte art?

You don't need Google translate to say fun in Korean.

That bulgogi is taller than Kim Jong Un.

The Texan cowgirls have arrived! Speaking of Glorious Leader Kim, can he borrow your cowgirl boots so he can see over the DMZ fence?

Raise one glass for each sleeping kid. #winning

A Fork in the Tale

They say summer on the Fork lasts forever. It certainly does on this blog because the pool's been closed for weeks but oh look, a floating pineapple!

Daddy, is that one of those ginger and scallion crabs Mommy is always talking about?

You're not in Central Park any more folks, this is the real wilderness. Which must explain all the bearded men running around in flannel shirts.

Daddy, can we get this one on Zipcar?

Big Bay North. Soon to be connected to Big Bay South by 17 hours 40 minutes of abject misery.

All that's missing is a Pukeko and a gorse bush.

Don't even think of parking your kayak here unless you have a coveted Fleets Neck Property Owners Association sticker. NIMBY = Not in My Beach Yard.

All roads lead to the beach. Well one of them leads to a humongous city of 9 million people. Don't go down that one.

Are there sharks in Peconic Bay? Good question. We'll find out pretty quick with this plump morsel.

The Cutchogue Free Library is the most picturesque this side of Nantucket. Although the free part is a total misnomer after you take one look at your property tax bill.

Greenport, the biggest town in NoFo, has become something of a hipster enclave. I mean, how many stereotypes can you fit in one coffee shop? Cold brew cart attached to single-speed bicycle. Check. Faux-socialist manifestos faux-casually arranged on a minimalist, burnished-brass shelf. Check. Menu created with letter tiles. Check. Coffee that costs more than a cocktail. Check. If you can find one more bonus item you'll basically have Jared's house.

Read My Lips: No New Taxes. Well, except for the 2% Peconic transfer tax, the rubbish dump assessment, the marina fee, the beach parking pass, the sticker-for-your-kayak compulsory donation... And oh did I mention they're not deductible?

The Greenport Carousel. Well, basically the Brooklyn Carousel. It's the all the same people.

The Big Pip has a big thirst for craft brews.

There's only one way to get around the NoFo. Captain on the bridge!

Neighbor Steve illustrates the finer points of navigation. Such as: don't even think about crashing into my dock on the way out of the creek.

Late summer is sunflower season in the NoFo. Which these days means half of Brooklyn is Instragramming their way up the island. Luckily, as soon as you've got that kayak sticker you can start growling about those useless city folk clogging up your roads.

As American as diabetes and a coronary. With no health insurance.

Is that a First Order Trooper or a Stormtrooper Classic? Just like Coke, you can't beat the real thing.

On the NoFo you don't call round to the neighbors to check out their house, you do it to cast covetous glances at their boat.

Hard life all this chilling on the beach.

If you catch one will you really know what to do with it? Heck yeah, take a Gram and throw it back in.

The Astros are in town! Let's kick off the NoFo farm-to-food truck tour with a visit to 8 Hands, a working farm with a food truck behind the barn. Working, sure. Just like all those flannel-clad bearded dudes are cutting down trees not hugging them.

The best way to fix that bump on Hadley's head is to cool it with a single-origin cold brew.

I told you half of Brooklyn was here.

Not too shabby at all for a post-Labor Day weekend. I mean you don't even need a beach parking permit after Labor Day.

Astros or Yankees? Beer was the winner on the day.

The ultra-hip Kontokosta Vineyard is designed for those who don't know a Merlot from a Malbec but can tell you the exact difference in saturation between the Lark and Ludwig filters on the Gram.

The NoFoDoCo. More holes than a Ukrainian foreign policy proposal.

Bloody Texans, always driving the biggest vehicle they can find.

The sing-along hay ride. What does it say about today's youth that there's only one song they know the words to? Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo!

Daddy, I prefer walking across the road to Whole Foods.

Missing one Cahan kid. Step right up Lina, there's plenty of room on the chair.

All that hipster-idyll is shattered rather cruelly by a cold, hard dose of reality: the school bell is ringing!

Today's lesson: new beginnings. Like, you know, transforming into a gigantic robot.

No, not NoFo, Williamsburg. But I can see how you'd be confused.

Last weekend of September and the pool is still opened! Mostly because Rock forgot to call the pool company, but hey, the weather decided to bail him out.

It's like tailgating, except on yachts. Fleet Week in Greenport is one giant party, with a free flowing keg on every boat and drunken revelers trying to jump between them.

Good choice son, with a drive like that there's no way they'll turn you away on the other side of the Bay. Just remember, over there you call this a dingy.

Ho, ho, ho and a bottle of appropriately-warmed organic milk.

Who's ready for some kimchi fried rice?

In theory it's supposed to be winter. Nope.

Here's a lucky turn of events: Neighbor Steve is selling his old boat! She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've added some special modifications myself. Actually scratch that last bit, the only modification Rock is making is to add S.S. Rangitoto to the stern.

Usually pumpkins and the first snow go hand in hand. Not this year.

Hey Spiderman, would you mind grabbing me a craft cider with one of your webs?

Big Pip's birthday and the sun is still shining. Why a year ago on this day it was a cold 6am Uber to the hospital.

I've got a friend in you. And an enemy. Depends on the day really. And what toy is at stake.

The birthday queen prefers to be one of the people. No crowns here please.

Birthday donut by NoFoDoCo. Daddy, this thing is so yummy, why do they take the middle out?

It's like the pool is never closing. Heck, at this rate we'll be swimming in December. You'll be reading this blog then too.

Cheers to an epic summer of 2019. Start the countdown for pool opening day 2020.