Tales from the Qin Dynasty

Xian. Perhaps second only to the Great Wall in fame, Xian is a city literally teeming with
history. Of course, the jewel in the crown is the famous undergraound army of terrocatta
warriors. Originally only a small part of the legenday Emperor Qin's (259-209BC) monumental tomb, the clay army is now but a tantalising snapshot of the vast empire that rose and fell over two thousand years ago. It was under Qin's sword that China as we know it was first united under one banner - the mighty Qin dynasty. Apparently Qin shared is modern counterparts' soft spot for enormous construction projects - along with his own tomb (which apparently consumed one-fifth of the entire workforce and nearly bankrupted the fledging nation) he also oversaw the construction of the Great Wall. (BTW, to forestall the obvious criticism, no I'm not quoting Lonely Planet... This comes from the tacky "official" tourist book that I folded and bought :)

Our journey back in time began, quite literally, as we stepped aboard an old-style sleeper train
for the 14 hour marathon to Xian. As it turns out, the bunks (4 to a room, 2 below, 2 above) we
quite comfy, and the journey breezed by. Day one was the moment of truth, the much anticipated visit to Qin's grand army. I'll get mstraight to the point - I was disappointed. For starteds, the army just isn't as big as one imagines. Sure, it dills a huge aircraft hanger sized building, but the problem is only about the first 100m or so is excavated. Unfortunately, after they dug up the whole thing they found the smoggy Xian air was causing the warriors to deteriorate far to quickly, so putting archelogical interests ahead of the gripes of foreign tourists, they filled back in the majority of the pit while the research better ways of preserving the treasures. Nonetheless, the soldiers that are visible are still pretty cool - each one has a unique face and stands frozen at attention, just as they have for the last two millenia, keeping a silent vigil over the secrets of their ancient master (cue Raiders theme). Feeling a bit ripped, we retired to the comfort of our "so cheap" (the price tag of 70 kiwi bucks went a little ways towards brightening the mood :) 5 star hotel.

Any lingering feelings of disappointment, however, were well and truely quashed on day two in
Xian. That was the day we conquored the second great peak of our journey. The Huashan mountain is a majestic peak rising 2160m above the fragmented ruins and semi-submerged rice paddies that stretch over the ancient Xian plains. The first 5.5km of the ascent is a comfortable cable car ride (well, as comfortable as being suspended in a glass capsule half a kilometer above jagged rocks can be - quite frankly, it's terrifying). However, the next 2km to the summit was the stuff of legends. Unlike Huangshan, there wasn't a hint of fog, and the view was quite simply like standing on the roof of the world, with peak after peak stretching out below off to the hazy
horizon. The climb to get there was worth a mention - once again safety seems to be a word lost in translation - most of the climb was up ladder-like stairs hewn by hand out of the cliff face,
with only a rusty chain separating the living from the dead. Particularly epic was the ascent up
the Blue Dragon Ridge, and aptly named spine of solid stone jutting from the face of the mountain with a winding ladder of stairs along the backbone. Breathtaking.

And, as you can tell by the infrequency of updates, and generic prose, and appaling spelling, that brings us pretty much to the end of this adventure. From here, it's back to Wuhan by train, then another 18 hours by train to Shanghai, and then, assuming we survive the China Eastern Airlines experience, home sweet home.

Thanks for reading folks, thanks for commenting, and watch out for the Collector's Edition VCD coming to a computer near you very soon. About the same time as your tacky piece of China memorabilia is delievered ;)

Over and out from the Far East.

Fried eggplant and pigs, in no particular order...

We've been in Wuhan 3 days now. Finally I feel like I'm living in the
"real" China, as opposed to the China the wisks by behind the tinted
window of Mei's dad's air-conditioned Ford Mondeo, or bustles below ma 5
star hotel window. It's only when one walks the streets of Mei's Wuhan
neighborhood that one truely appreciates just how different, and yet at
the same time similar, this culture is.

Rather than document a day by day of our doings in Wuhan, I'll jot down
a few observations about life in China, and Wuhan in particular. And
where better to start then the food? Having thus far only experiences
restaurant (and the odd street hawker) fare, I approached my first home
-cooked meal with much anticipation (of course, as my critics have been
quick to point out, this in itself is nothing out of the ordinary :). I
was not to be disappointed. Let me outline last night's menu for you.
First up, a crispy roast chicken literally glistening under a glaze of
spices and tangy sauce. This presented a test of will power for your
author as he sought the self control to leave room for the rest of the
meal... Dish 2 was a steaming plate of fried eggplant in chili sauce.
Many of my readers will know I'm partial to a certain eggplant hotpot at
KC Cafe a world away on Wellington's Courtney Place. Let me tell you,
these garden fresh eggplants make KC Cafe's offering look like a stale
McDonalds cheeseburger next to a flame grilled Whopper (not the most
classy comparison I know, mainly just wrote that to annoy Ian... ;)
Let's move on to dish 3 - freshly caught Black Fish out of Wuhan's East
Lake. Grilled to perfection and served in a juicy ginger sauce with
sliced bamboo. But wait, there's more. What meal would be complete
without the requisite side dishes? A heaping plate of spicy Chinese
sausages, a big bowl of squid sauteed with bok choi, and a steaming bowl
of tofu soup... Alas I fear such a feast on a nightly basis was never
designed for a sluggish Western metabolism.

Moving on, Wuhan is a pleasant (as pleasant as 8 million people crammed
into a teaming metropolis roasting under 25 degree heat can be) urban
spral situated on the banks of the Yangzee River and a big lake
imaginitively named the East Lake (no doubt the dummy translation, the
actual name is no doubt far more poetic). The riverbank along the
Yangzee has been done up into an incredibly flash marble promenade
interescted with fountain gardens and monuments. An evening stroll as
the sun sinks over the myriad of barges plying their trade on China's
longest river is a sight to behold. That's when you realise this place
isn't so different after all - young couples walk hand in hand, kids
race to the playgrounds dotted along the river, Mei complains about
something or other... This could just as easily be sunset over Darling
Harbour in Sydney, or even Palmy's good ol' Esplanade.

I'm starting to pick up a bit of the lingo here. For example, "fei"
means "fat", as in "fei mao" ("fat cat"), or "fei Zhu Mei" (somewhat
obviously, "fat Mei" :). Another one I quickly picked up travelling with
the Zhu's is "shau", pronounced "sow" as in the female pig. This means
"stupid", as in, for wont of a better example, "shau Zhu Mei" (I'm sure
I don't need to translate this here... more colloquially, we might say
"dumb j00" :). Even better, I also learned that "Zhu" (pronouced "Joo"
as you all know) sounds the same as the Chinese word for pig! Thus one
is in the unique position of being able to call Mei a pig and not get in
trouble >:p

That's it for this collection of random thoughts. Some more photos from
the SuHang area are up, apologies again for the slow upload, this
connection ain't the fastest.

Lotus Peak

Day 5 will go down as an absolute highlight, and not just because of
the "so cheap" but superbly appointed 5 star hotel we stayed at for
kiwi 100, nor for the deliciously crispy fried eggplant... no, today
was the day we conquored Lotus Peak, a towering pinnacle of rock
jutting majestically through layers of mist in the Huangshan World
Heritage Park.

Nonetheless, the day started rather miserably with a 5.30am wake-up
call (what's the point of 5 stars of luxury if your gonna get up at
that hour?) Groaning and cursing, the adventures (we are aware that
some of our avid readers have expressed some misgivings at our use of
the collective pronoun and third person. I do this to give at least
some sembleance that this is a joint effort and that Mei at least
sometimes stops chowing down beef stew long enough to contribute a few
words other than "so cheap"... whoops, I kinda gave things away ;)
shouldered their packs (I mean, Rock shouldered both packs) and headed
for the bus to the park enterance.

Here I have a confession to make. We joined a tour party! That's right
folks, your in trepid independent travellers were decked out in gay
bright red hats, handed kindergarten nametags, and herded with a
megaphone! I'd like to console myself with the comment that according
to our hosts it was too dangerous to travel by one's self. I'd like to
claim it was cheaper to travel in a group. But alas, the truth is we
took the quick and easy path... (I'll let Devan finish the quote)

However, feelings of guilt soon evaporated as the bus headed for the
mountains. Anyone who's seen traditional Chinese watercolours knows
that Chinese mountains are totally different from their western
counterparts - instead of your stock standard triangualr peaks, Chinese
mountains are a fantastical array of contorted rock formations rising
out of a tangled carpet of twisted pines and bamboo. And then there's
the mist that adds a mysterious and altogether timeless feel to the
whole place. As the bus rolle up the harpin bends to the park
enterance, the tourists could only gape in awe at the vista before them
(unfortunately, until I find a USB port, we're the only ones gaping...
:)

The first leg of the climb was a brutal 2 hour ascent to the midway
point up the cluster of mountains. There was a gondola option, but we
recovere our pride by takling it on foot, leaving the rest of the group
far behind in 15 minutes. The sweltering 30 degree heat and humidity
turned the 5.5km trek into a brutal re-enactment of the Long March,
with red hatted tourists falling right and left, or selling out to the
coolies with their wicker chairs. But we soldierd on and arrived
triumphantly and hour ahead of schedule.

Unfortunately, as we recovered, the mist thickened to a virtual
whiteout, robbing us of any further spectacular views (but saving my
faithful readers from any more crude attempts at poetry :). The second
leg of the climb was epic - a batlle against the howling wind and
almost viscous mist to the 1800m high summit of Lotus Peak. Sections of
the "path" were a dead on replica of the Stairs of Minas Tirith - more
a ladder hewn out of solid stone than a stairway. For several brief
interludes the fog cleared, and when it did the view would have taken
my breath away, had the brutal climb not already done so.

The top was more a relief than a triumph, and the mist meant anything
more than a cursory photo was pointless. However, the journey down
proved just as challenging, if not more so, with the near vertical
stairs often winding their way through shoulder high caves.
At the end of the round trip of 5 hours we gratefully settle back in
the gondola for the much needed break and lift to terra firma.

After that, the exhausted party piled into the car for a weary 5 hour
drive to Wuahn, stopping only for another superb meal of juicy fried
eggplant, crispy duck, and spicy lamb legs. we finally brought an
exhausting 18 hour day to an end when we rolled up to Mei's mum's place
in Wuhan just before midnight.

(Also, some photos from Shanghai up. Unfortunately not being able to
photoshop the images down to a less obscene size means the upload
processes is ludicrously slow. We'll have to drip feed them over the
next week)

The path to enlightenment...

The first half of Day 4 was set aside to explore the Hangzhou lake district. Explore is apt a word given the total inability of Chinese drivers to follow the simplest map - I reckon we'd have been no worse off had I climbed out the sunroof with a sextant! Like so many things in China, it seems the easiest solution is just to throw money at the problem - fortunately in tourist cities such as this there are plenty of local guides willing to hop in a car and madly shout directions for a few Yuan.

Anyway, to cut a long drive short, we eventually showed up at a big Buddha temple. The idea of these temples is to buy incense at the tacky stalls and then burn it in the temple and make a wish. The incense comes in a variety of shink-wrapped flavours - some give you a good career, others a happy family, and till others load you with lots of money. Chosing between these sure to be granted wishes was proving somewhat difficult for our hosts, so it was time for the stockbroker to step up and offer some incisive capitalist insight. Surely, the author argued, the choice was simple. By selecting the GiveMeLotsOfMoney incense, one could then burn it and once the money starts raining down one could then afford to buy all the rest and burn it, thus securing the perfect future :)

Clutching the incense, we set off happily for the temple. In the end I decided my somewhat cynical attitude to the whole process rendered my offering a bit hypocritical, so we left the burning to our hosts and instead admired the enormous golden Buddha statues.

The next stop of the day was the Leifeng Pegoda, which sits majestically on a hill above the lake. The old pagoda was 1000 years old, but unfortunately was destroyed. Thus the tower is a modern reconstruction. When I say modern reconstruction I mean a somewhat loose interpretation - I somehow doubt the original structure had a double glass elevator system inside. Still, the Chinese actually did a masterful job of integrating what remained of the old structure into the new pagoda - it's more a museum than an attempt to recreate history. And once people get to the top they certainly wouldn't be complaining (well, most people, there's always an exception ;) - a breathtaking view over the whole region.

Our tour of the lake district complete, we then set forth for Huangshan... but that's a story for tomorrow...

Suzhou to Hangzhou

Day 3 began with the requisite bowl of steaming noodles and the bustling cacophony of sound from the ecletic mix of rusty rickshaws and gleeming Mercedes drifting through the window.
First stop of the day - the Tiger Hill pagoda, just out of Suzhou. Carrying on the pseudo-Italian theme the pagoda itself is pretty much the Leaning Tower of the East. Perched atop a terraced hill of ascending gardens and courtyards, the 900 year old structure tilts at an alarming degree. As with most ou stops, our first goal was to find the most roundabout tortuous ascent possible in a bid to ditch the ubiquitous Chinese tour parties.

A brief word on these tour parties - they usually consist of 40 or 50 Chinese tourists, each proudly wearing their official coulour-coded tour cap, being herded along by one or two guides screaming into a megaphone. Needless to say, when 5 or 6 of these hordes converge the results aren't pretty... Imagine 300 Mei's jabbering away... :)

Anyway, once free of he masses, Tiger Hill proved to be well worth the climb with superb vistas over the spralling metropolis of Suzhou. After stopping briefly to chat Super 12 with a Queenslander (small world), we set off for the main destination - the tourist mecca of Hangzhou.
Another hot and sticky nightmare journey through the impossibly crowded streets ended with the inevitable. We crashed. Well to be more accurate the bump itself was no more than a scratch, but the ensuing argument with the taxi driver involved rapidly escallated into an hour long armaggedon complete with frantic hand-waving and livid swearing. After an hour leaping around in the 30 degree heat and traffic fumes, sanity prevailed and a truce was called with the face saving transfer of the princely sum on 30 Yuan ($5 kiwi).

Thus it was with much relief that we finally arrived in Hangzhou. Probably the best description of the city is Queenstown-esque. Perched on a big lake the city is all polish abd class - an oasis in the industrialised wasteland that sprawls over so much of the country.

The big lake is dotted with islands, each bearing some form of garden or pagoda. That evening we hopped on a cruise to a couple of the island, most of which were mercifully free of fellow tourists and we were able to watch the sun sink over the misty water-lilly dotted lakes.

"So cheap"...

Day 2 dawned (well I assume the sun came up, the thick shroud of fog makes determining such events a little tricky) over a steaming plate of fried noodles, courtesy of the Charms Hotel Restaurnat. Don't ask me where they dig up these bizarre translations, though in this particular case the pack of condoms prominently displayed in the mini bar may offer some hints...

Following breakfast, the adventurers set out for the first destination of the day - Zhouzhuang - the Venice of the East. It's probably best if I skim over the road trip down the Shanghai motorway - let's just say it say it was an "experience" that makes China Easter look like Sinagpore Airlines.

Zhouzhuang is everything Mei (and Lonely Planet) promised - an ancient maze of rickety houses and shops perched over crisscrossing canals. First stop - lunch. Anyone who knows Mei will know the Chinese lover theior food - Zhouzhuang is famous for a particualr stewed pork leg. The fame is well deserved - it's sublime (and "so cheap"). The next few hours involved dodging the hawkers and their tack in search of the requisite photo ops on top of the many bridges, and punting lazily along the canals (well lazyily for us, no doubt the poor boatwomen pushing the thing was cursing the fat tourists she picked up...). I'll have to confirm with Jared, but I bet the whole experience cost less than one icecream in the real Venice - gotta love that Made in China tag :)

Next stop, Suzhou, best known for its multitude of traditional gardens. After depositing our bags at the luxurous "so cheap" hotel (110 kiwi and only a notch below the gold standard - Sheraton on the Park Sydney) we set forth for one of the aforementioned gardens. Chinese gardens are all about tranquility and the balanced arrangement of stone, water, and a few sparing placed plants. Well, they were all about tranquility till Mei walked through the gate... :)

Day two closed with some superb "so cheap" Chinese cusine. Simply the best sweet and sour pork ever (though I swear Mei's dad was ridiculing my wide-eyed wonderment at such a generic dish :) Also fit in a bit of shopping - Suzhou is famous for its real silk. Mei picked up something and also a present for mum (that's all the hint you'll get...)

So that's that. Finding net cafes is a real challenge. The commies must be pretty stringent because none are well marked and there's never USB access. Over and out from the rice paddys...

Shanghai... Wall Street of the East

Well, we've arrived. After a relatively smooth journey, China Eastern flight MU504 touched down at the brand new Shanghai Pudong International Airport. Normally such an event probably wouldn't be worth mentioning (even given the fact I'm typing this at the ludicrously cheap rate of 70 kiwi cents per hour), however, the fact that that pile of bolts arrived at all was a minor miracle. It wasn't quite the decrepit DC3 crammed with passengers between chicken crates that I was expecting, but it was pretty darn close. Think ancient A300, crammed to the brim with rather disgusting stained seats and a hideous interior colour that was pretty close to the burn orange of that prehistoric 486 monitor in the garage... There were also some sexy stripes on the wings, if oil stains can be called that. At least the flight attendants understood enough English to interpret "A coke please". The only other positive was the fact the safety demonstration video was done as an anime clip, with doe eyed "flight attendants" (looking suspiciously like sailor suited school girls) taking the passengers through one of the more original safety demonstrations I've seen. But anyway, seeing as I'm typing this, we obviously survived, so I'll move onto more interesting events.

Day one started as every day in China should start, with an enormous pile of fried noodles and pork steamed buns. Once Rock returned from the buffet table for the 3rd time, the party was ready to hit the sights. First on the agenda was a wander up the main shopping street - Nanjing Lu. I've got to pause here to mention the pollution. It's simply appalling. Anything further than a few blocks is barely visible through the thick fog-like haze. The impressive skyline is unfortunately just a ghostly silhouette under the pale glow of a sickly looking sun. Thus wandering down Nanjing Lu was something like playing anything on Melchior - a bad case of scenery pop-up as the next block suddenly emerges through the haze.

The other thing that immediately strikes you (apart from one of the insane taxis at the deadly "pedestrain crossings") is the construction. It's simply everywhere. You won't get a better illustration of what it takes to get 9% GDP growth. Everywhere you turn a new building is cropping up, and the sky is dotted with tower cranes.

Our eventual destination was the Shanghai Museum. An superbly designed building architectually with 4 floors chocka with all things Chinese (not counting the fat white tourists obviously). Statues, jade carvings, ancient seals... it was all on display. But given that the only thing more boring than a real museum is reading about a museum, i'll leave it there.
Moving on to more exciting things, out next stop was the Bund. If I wanted to do a Jared and regurgitate Lonely Planet, I could tell you what Bund means and how it came about... :) Suffice it to say, it's the waterfront along the Pudong River. All done up and very flash and the view of the Pudong Financial district on the other side of the river is superb (photos will tell the true story, but alas, no USB ports available at the moment...). Towering in the foreground is the Pearl of the Orient tower, flanked by the mighty Jin Mao tower and the brand new Citigroup Tower.

Obviously sight of the latter was enough to send us scurrying for the ferry office for a quick trip across the river. Mei's day was made when the tickets proved to be "so cheap" at 2 yuan a pop (divide by 6 for kiwi). Anyway, the financial district is simply stunning. Everything is brand new and the architecture on the plethora of gleeming office towers is superb (though disappointing Citi is a bit of a let down - a simple rectangle in a forest of curves and angles). Citigroup, ABN Amro, HSBC, RBS... this truely is the Wall Street of the East - heck, it even has a Central Park.

The highlight (apart from basking in the glow of the enormous Citi sign :) was a trip to the obervation deck on floor 88 of the stunning Jin Mao tower (4th highest building in the world). Even with the smog, the view is well worth the 50 yuans that Rock grudgingly forked over. Again, photos will have to tell the rest of the story, especially because my time is up... it's almost like someone is too cheap to fork over another 70 cents.

Over and out chaps, keep those comments coming.

Here we go...

With Chiang Kai-Shek's Nationalists in hot (well actually freezing cold) pursuit, the party (gotta be a commie joke in there somewhere) shouldered their last remaining worldly possesions and marched purposefully forward on the first steps of their epic journey...

Well, by marched purposefully I of course mean bribed (we are off to China after all) Galley for a lift to the airport with promises of tounge-stripping Chinese gin. And it turns out the mighty crimson banner was in fact a more mundane stylised kangaroo... Nonetheless, to rip some no doubt terribly translated and cliched "Chinese" proverb, a journey of a thousand miles must start with a single step. Or in Mei's case, start and end with hopefully no more than a single step :)

Due to some kind of engineering problem the flight was delayed. Seeing as it was a Qantas flight I can't really blame the FeNZ el president here. As per usual on domestic flights in these days of Express Class and fuel surcharges, the probability of getting anything decent to eat was about the same as the probability of getting through the whole flight without any complaints. Indeed my dire predictions were confirmed when the "light refreshement"turned out to be one of the driest, hardest, most deformed ANZAC biscuits in recorded history. Fortunately my other dire prediction failed to materialise though as Qantas kindly provided Kath and Kim on the in-flight entertaiment program. Fortunately Mei was too tired to provide a suplementary laugh track for the rest of the passengers' enjoyment, as has been the case in the past with such in-flight screenings...

And so we duly touched down in Auckland. Seeing as people are reading this in hopes of finding grand tales of high adventure in exotic lands, I'll curtail this entralling account now lest I lose my readers somewhere between spagetti junction and the harbour bridge...

Over and out, next update from the Hong Kong.

Let the Long March begin!

Well folks, it's just about time now. The furniture is gone, the flat is spotless, the ADSL is no more, and mighty Melchior is somewhere in the middle of the Tasman.

For those in Wellington, the official farewell event kicks off Fri night at the precise time of whenever. Pizza, Coke, a movie, one last time to reminisce about the good ol' days.

For those wanting the full schedule, it goes something like this: fly out of Wellington Sat night, listen to Mei complain about how long the hour long flight is, get as much sleep in Auckland as the 4am wakeup call will allow, listen to Mei complain how early it is, fly Auckland - Hong Kong Sunday morning, listen to Mei complain how long the flight is and how she's too short to see the movie screen, fly Hong Kong - Shanghai Sunday evening, listen to Rock complain how appalling service on China Eastern Airlines is and extrapolate his disgust to all things Chinese, get off the plane at Shanghai and... well to be honest folks, that's where the plan ends. Perhaps find a net cafe and try to find a way to make 15 hours in the air sound interesting?

And thus ends the first journal entry. Start posting those cyncial comments now. You know, the ones you were dying to post on Jared's site but didn't have the facilities to do so...