Just What the D.R. Ordered, Again

Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will. Or rather, you'll consumer it, in unlimited quantities.  It being the once-maligned All Inclusive.  It's amazing what two kids and eight years will do to your pride. And your wallet. So here we are again, less than 18 months after the flight of shame to J00ster Journal's first All Inclusive, doing it all over again.

Get ready for unlimited everything kiddos. If you come back wearing the same size shorts you've failed the mission.

You know, for all the hype the dusty road less traveled gets, there's something to be said for the immaculately landscaped road frequently traveled.

Presidente Light. Proud owner of stake in Truthe Social.

Macro. Polo. Marco. Polo. Marco... hang on, I'm triggered, Marco Polo was a Colonizer-Oppressor!

I'm a foreign policy expert; I can see Haiti from my balcony.

Need something to pass the time between buffet runs? Try the on-site water park. 

Not exactly potato famine weather, is it?

Aren't you a little tall for a leprechaun? Never mind, you can pinch me whenever you want.

Every night is movie night in paradise. Unlimited popcorn to go with unlimited screen time. Beat that.

Actually I just did, by throwing in unlimited sodas.

When you cross that magic line between the Adults Only side of the resort and the Family side you can't help but notice the pools are a little bluer, the palm trees a little fluffier, the drinks a little stronger, the parents a little happier. Ok a lot.

Cheers to unlimited cheers.

Back to reality on the Family side. Which means Trolls for the eighth time.

Set course for... uhm the shallows off the resort so I can get back on their wifi?

Mermaid off the port bow!

Remember, if the pirates try to board us, don't all walk the plank at once, no matter how Instagram-worthy the turquoise water is.

Ho, ho, ho, and a bottle of... light grog.

Good news, no major bridges in sight.

You can never have too much paradise. That's why you're at an All Inclusive.

One more popsicle for the road. Ok fine, two more.

Wishes Do Come True Part 3: All -You-Can-Eat Arendelle

Once you've accepted you won't set foot in the mythical adults only land at the stern of the ship it's time to put on a brave face and head to Arendelle.

It's time to build a snowm... I mean eat a snow cone.

Let it goooooo! Order the sundae Daddy. The weight never bothered you anyway!

Remember, the force will be with you. Always. Wait, what?

Did you know we have frozen chicken fingers in Arendelle too? See I forget to wear my gloves to the farmers market.

Four days on a floating Disneyland. That must be what those Gemini astronauts felt like in their little capsule.

Elon said make it bigger.

Someone ask the payload specialist on the right if he packed the wet wipes. Nasty space germs up there I hear.

Nice, Kennedy Space Center has finally moved out of the... well... Kennedy era. 

Mission control, good news, the Starlink satellite has been deployed in time to stream the Superbowl.

Activating hardcore mode.

The SpaceX rocket on display has actually flown in space. Multiple times. The Boeing capsule? They're still working on the door plug.

That's one small step for man, because women told him to get his butt off the couch already.

Yes I know it's a bit stubby kids, but this was before Elon decided that rockets need to have social media accounts.

Tampa Bay, once a muddy backwater, now Meatpacking on the Bay. Thank you Tom Brady!

Apparently the most Instagrammed steps in Florida. That's one curvy step for mankind.

Influencing. It's all about knowing the right angles.

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? You don't, they both look the same from the inside.

Public transportation in Florida? What next, state taxes?

If Tweets are Xs now, what are Os?

So you're telling me if I don't pay taxes I can enjoy all this? That seems like a bit of an arbitrage, no?

And no congestion charge either?

What's the catch again?

You were correct Master Kenobi, the dispute does boil down to taxes.

What brought me down south? Well, the weather for starters. And if I'm honest, the taxes. And oh yeah, all those retirees are easy pickings. 

Vitruvian Boy.

You seriously didn't get enough Frozen stuck on that boat for four days?!