Piper Madison, welcome to the team. You'll be expected to know your Newark Terminals A, B and C before your ABCs and be potty trained on a lav at 35,000 feet, but trust us it will all be worth it. Until your first ATC delay for flow control that is.
Yes if you choose SkyTeam Daddy will still love you, but you're on your own for upgrades. OneWorld on the other hand, that might be a deal breaker, then you're on your own for college too.
Once you can watch Paw Patrol at 35,000 feet even the 21 hour direct to Singapore is within range.
The first cadet for Trump's new Space Force. Making the Universe Great Again. Or if you lean the other way, the New Big Bang, putting the universal in universal basic income.
Uncle Jared pulling a double shift. Everything is bigger in Texas, even story time.
A hipster and his manny.
The J&R Taco Tour takes you deep into the barrio to experience the most authentic Mexican this side of The Wall.
No ICE officer, it's not what you think, these aren't the anchor babies you're looking for,
A morsel as plump as Piper is enough to get even the laziest Megatherium out of bed.
The Houston Natural History Museum has to be the only one in the world where the dinosaur floor isn't the best. Head to the energy floor to take a virtual reality ride under the lonely tumbleweeds of the Permian Basin to see where America's Energy Revolution began. Ok kids, you can either watch these awesome robots drill a horizontal well, or you can head over to that lame corner exhibit on the Green New Deal. Probably left over from AOCs science fair exhibit.
Drill, Baby, Drill.
Whoever emits the most tons of carbon in the next 30 seconds wins!
All these hydrocarbons are tiring. Time to refrack the wells with some classic Hill Country BBQ.
Because these days Pitmasters need cowboy boots and a hipster stash.
Vegetarians, close your browsers now.
Five stars for the Uber driver.
Wearing a helmet on a swing in Texas is only one level above taking a knee with Kaepernick.
My R2D2 IPA has all the bitter hoppiness of a prequel batch.
The boys are back in town! Or rather, the boys are back in the Uber after Jared's authentic Texan honky-tonk pick turns out to be a Vietnamese wedding party.
STEM class is in session. Today's potion is only marginally less lethal than Dad's mezcal shot last night.
Welcome to the Star Alliance Piper, I knew you'd choose wisely. I hate to break it to you, but those upgrade certificates I promised are next to useless these days.
