Turkey Day in the Big Apple

After jetting in from the far corners of the world for a week of feasting, a steaming Torino coffee is just the ticket to banish the jet lag and get the lads fueled up for the big party.


With a sleek espresso machine like that, you just know the coffee is going to be good. And expensive.

Can you feel the brain waves? Nope, didn't think so. Must be that dude in the middle cancelling them out.

Talking a little quantum mechanics on a stroll through the park.

An A minus?! In Introductory Quantum Mechanics? No wonder you sold out.

As autumn merges into winter, the last of the leaves go out in an epic blaze of glory. Kind of like Rock's physics career.

Finally Rock can be the smartest man in the photo again.

For the rich folks on Millionaire's Mile, Upper East Side, the changing of the leaves can mean only one thing: time to fuel up the Lear Jet and set course for Palm Beach.

Time to escape the rapidly encroaching winter chill in the toasty halls of the Met. Nothing like racing through 4000 years of art in three hours to get the blood pumping again. And that's before you get to Picasso's nudes.

The crisp winter light streaming through an open window is just the kind of material that would inspire a master painter to new heights. Or inspire another filler shot in J00ster.

Charge! Just in case you thought the museum was all dusty Byzantine triptychs and old Roman dudes missing noses.

Whew, taking in all this fine art is tiring, time for something a little less highbrow...

...like the uber commercialism of the annual Macy's parade. Forget waterlilies and sunflowers, it's time for Shrek and Kermit.

On the eve of the big event, it seems the whole city has turned out for the cherished tradition of the inflating of the balloons.

The Kool Aid man shares the limelight with Spongebob Squarepants and a giant football. Is this a great country or what?

Finally, after three hours of braving a frigid Thanksgiving morning, the grand marshal is in sight! Snoopy leads the charge as the balloons sweep down 7th Avenue on their way to 34th St.

Mei somehow managed to sneak her way onto a float.

And now, your forecast for today, temperatures in the low 40s, a chance of rain, and low hanging frogs.

Jimmy Fallon revels in participating in an event that actually gets ratings.

Hand over hearts folks, there's nothing more American than bailouts, supersized combos, and Lady Liberty.

Regrettably, Miss America has decided that today's conditions are a little too nippy to reprise her winning swimwear number.

It wouldn't be a parade without cheerleaders, marching bands, and no one throwing candy out of fear of litigation.

No wonder Rock couldn't find his sponge for the big post-Thanksgiving cleanup.

Who's Kylie Minogue? The fact no one in the crowd knew who she was doesn't bode well for her latest attempt to break into the U.S. market.

Scramble the fighters! Incoming Hello Kitty entering Manhattan airspace at 0900.

Shrek is so fat some of the skyscrapers briefly look in danger of meeting a less than happily ever after ending.

Going straight to number one at the box office hasn't shrunk Po's ego one bit. World's Best? Pah, try Universe!

Skyscrapers.com needs a new entry in their Manhattan database: Po Tower.

Kanye West spots Taylor Swift in the crowd and launches into a well rehearsed diatribe.

To infinity and beyond! Or at least to Macy's on 34th.

Uhm, is it just me, or should Jessica Simpson get off her float and walk the four miles to... uhm... tighten up a little bit?

Warning, incoming Smurfs at 6 o'clock!

The aftermath. If you look closely, you can see a crumpled printout of the Jooster Journal...

Standing outside for five hours in the freezing wind is hungry work. Thank goodness Rock didn't burn the turkey.

Feasting and football. Unfortunately, the mainly Aussie crowd is as clueless about 4th and inches as they are about pumpkin pie.

Grey Goose tends to do that to you.

Rock is just thankful that it's all over. Which means turkey sandwiches tomorrow!

Cabining in the Catskills

Winter is just around the corner. Actually it's not really around the corner any more seeing as it has already blasted around said corner - and every other obstacle for that matter - like the frigid wall of misery that it is. But take heart folks, a roaring fireplace and crackling marshmallows in a cozy cabin deep in the heart of the Catskills should be just the ticket to shake off those early winter blues.

Cheers mate! There's an awful lot of Aussie accents for the middle of nowhere in upstate New York.

A en route pit stop at the last Walmart between here and the great white north sees the pantry well stocked with beer, among other things. The other things being wine, vodka, and gin.

A glorious way to start a weekend in the wild. The cabin is perched on the edge of a deserted lake. Deserted being the operative word, as those who spent an hour picking out the perfect fishing rod and tackle at Walmart quickly discovered. Actually, it wasn't quick at all, it took hours of futility, shivering on the edge of the dock waiting for an elusive bite, to come to that realization.

Where's that jumbo bag of marshmallows from aisle 16?

It doesn't get any better than this.

Oh wait, it does.

You won't find any skyscrapers around here. Nothing comes between man and mother nature out here. Apart from an iPad, 3 iPhones, and a couple of Blackberries...

While Rock is out burning through his 8Gb memory card, the rest of the crew has burned through three bottles of gin and a vodka.


A side of the Empire state that most people don't see. It's not about screaming yellow cabs and steam coming out of vents.


Unlike Manhattanites, who are weighing the odds of a first snow by Christmas, the locals have already started counting the days till the spring thaw.

They said the cabin was haunted...

Thank goodness 90% of the party can cook like they just wrapped on the 9pm slot for Food Network. Which leaves the other 10% to document their mouthwatering endeavors on pointless blogs.

Not a bad spread. Heck, not a bad view either. Not that anyone is going to bother looking until these quiches are reduced to crumbs.

Rock gets ready to show a bunch of Aussies what it means to be American. If you can't manage thirds and still have room for desert, then you should have got right back on the Mayflower and headed back to poncy England. You'd probably even make it back in time for a dainty high tea.

If there's a better spot for watching College Game Day, Rock has yet to find it. Brownies are in the oven, popcorn is in the microwave, ice cold Coke is in the glass, and Corso is about to make his pick. Heck yeah!

There it is, the official J00ster stamp of approval. And we're not even half way though the weekend yet.

Like a Babe in the woods.


Will someone show this city slicker which side of the match you light.

With water this clear, you can see right to the bottom. Which means one can very easily see that dinner ain't coming off the end of a hook tonight. Lucky we brought an entire barn worth of sausages.


This guy is about as country as Country Road.

It's like one of those North Face ads where dudes who wouldn't know a mountain lion from a chipmunk try to look rugged.

Mei is starting to decide that the wilderness isn't so bad after all... as long as it comes equip with cable, a ginormous TV, and a full booze fridge.

The 3.5 hour drive doesn't seem nearly so bad when you have a high def DVD player built in. Then you start measuring time in True Blood episodes instead of hours.

Tsk, tsk... didn't the subprime crisis teach you never to trust the mezzanine tranche?

Clear the decks! Mei and vodka represent a dangerous combo... especially for those standing below.

False alarm. Should have known she'd never waste a drop.

Like North and South Korea, the rival photographers play a tense game of cat and mouse. Canon versus Nikon in the battle for the perfect shot.

Speaking of perfect shots. It's College Game Day in glorious HD.

The breakfast feast is barely cleared before the sandwiches are under construction for an afternoon hike.

The Executive Chef's main role is to ensure every ingredient meets his exacting quality standards.

The trip mascot wants a piece of the action. Dog biscuits just don't quite measure up to a slab of Wisconsin cheddar.

Time to burn off some of the excesses of the weekend with a stroll through the woods. Some referred to it as a hike, but it's not exactly Everest Base Camp.


Still, the view ain't half bad.

How quaint. It's almost perfect enough to be on one of those Whole Foods posters.

Work the camera ladies. That seems to be more than Rock can manage. Which button is the ISO again?

Clear the ledge for someone who really knows how to pose. When you get a doggy manicure every week, you're used to the star treatment.

It's all very romantic, until you take a wrong step back...

So much for winter. Drop the coats folks, summer is back.

Time for a bit of spelunking.

The whole area is riddled with limestone caverns. And the roads are riddled with big billboards hyping up each cave as better than the last. If the Jones' cave down the street has the Chamber of Jewels, then you've got to at least have Cathedral Cavern just to stay in the game.

An underground boat ride. It's just like Disney World. Without the hot dogs.

Hands down winner of the best hiking gear competition.

While everyone else is whipping up gourmet fare, Rock's big achievement is getting the forks and spoons back in the right slots.

Time to test out the water craft.

Rock and Mix quickly discover that there's something very wrong with the drive train on their high tech paddle wheeler.


This must be before Rock spent 45 minutes paddling in vain trying to get back to shore. Sure the lake looks small... when you're observing it safely from the shoreline.

Are you sure that craft is really designed for five? Just as well they didn't catch anything, because even a couple fish would be enough to send this overloaded barge the way of the everyone's least favorite character in Titanic.