Goodbye tomato sauce, hello ketchup!

Roll out the BBQ, it's summer in Sydney! What better way to kick off summer in the Harbour City than with a lazy Sunday BBQ on Balmoral Beach? That's a rhetorical question by the way, no need to answer it, Rock's just using it to fill up space.

All hail the king! Rock uses the old low angle trick to magnify his manhood.

She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. Unlike Rock, who doesn't have it where it counts in the cooking department.

Standoff! Who will click first?

Ok, it's not quite your typical Thanksgiving setting, but that's no reason not to roll out the pies. Just ask Warnie. And as a plus, out here you don't run the risk of being trampled to death in the lumbering stampede to be the first to get a patriotic 20% off the no-brand made-in-China plasma in Audio Visual, Aisle 25.

Incoming divebomber! And no, I don't mean some crappy CGIed Stuka trying but failing to bring the slightest crease of a frown to Nicole never-had-botox Kidman's face... In fact, this intrepid Kookaburra braved the flames of Rock' latest cooking 'experiment' to snatch this saussie right off the BBQ. Stealing something and being celebrated for it - why that's the spirit Aussie was founded on.

Finally Mei finds some friends her own height :)

Hard to imagine in three short weeks the surf and the sun will be replaced with ice and snowflakes. Hard to imagine anyone would actually volunteer for such a switch. There's a sucker born every minute. And most of them work(ed) on Wall St.

It wouldn't be a J00ster post without the famous jump; it wouldn't be a J00ster post without at least one filler comment.

Looks like someone other than the Kookaburra had a few too many saussies. Luckily Rock can shortly trade in his budgie smugglers for three overcoats, a scarf, a pair of gloves... and an "out of work stockbroker - will work for food" sign.

Enjoy it while you can. Even a five million bucks in the Hamptons won't buy you a stretch of sand like this.

I'm just posting these for my benefit. So when I'm shivering away in some tiny shoebox in Manhattan I can use this as my desktop while I bask in the palid raditation from my monitor.

Over and out folks, next time you read this, it'll be ketchup not tomato sauce...

There's no place like home...

Yep, there's no place like good ol' Aotearoa, where this counts as a balmy spring day. And where you can wear head gear like this and no one bats an eyelid.

Don't worry, summer is just around the corner... yeah, it it's called Australiaaa, maaate.

It's not quite as cold as it looks... provided you've got a convenient tea cosy to slap on your head.

Rock basks in the tropical climate. Which way to the beach folks?

Mei tucks into an iced coffee... actually, it's a normal coffee where nature did the rest.

There's no doubt about it, in the Battle of the Mochas the kiwis win hands down. Pity about the cricket, rugby league, medal tally, GDP per capita, average wage and topless sunbathing battles...

Uhm... I'm not seeing a lot of bikini action.

Rock takes a moment to get his bearings and make sure he didn't sail out to the Ross Ice Shelf by mistake.

Mei always was keen on sampling the local cuisine. As they say, fresh is best.

Heck, it may be cold, and it may be a long way from the bright centre of the universe, but there are some parts of kiwiana you wouldn't substitute for anything. Well, anything other than a nice fluffy overcoat.

Mei models the latest in NZ fashion. The 2008 Spring Collection draws inspiration from... 1908?

Halt... didn't you see that Winston Peters billboard on Queen Street?

Don't worry, since it's not ever going to be warm enough for a picnic, no one will mind a few footprints on the table....

Rock admires the scenery... or is he keeping a wistful eye out for the return ferry?

Mark this moment folks, you saw it here first. Blue sky. That's right, this is not a fancy filter. This is not photoshopped. This is the real deal

This is a beach. I thought I'd better caption it, just to clear up any confusion.

Whaddya know, it's sunny and warm today! Rock goes back to the drawing board to come up with something else to complain about... too easy, Helen Clark! Meanwhile, Mei looks a little too familiar with the whole spinning around a pole thing...

The Fab Four! It cost us millions to outbid Women's Day, but here it is, the world exclusive first pics of the reunion. Imagine what it would of cost if Mei had actually kept her eyes open.

Hang on, make that the Fab Five.

Errr... Fab Thr... Hmmm... Time to hire a new publicist. And a new blogger.

I have nothing to say... but this is the internet so I'll say it anyway

It the battle of the blogosphere - where reader attention lasts about as long American free-market capitalism rhetoric does when the Dow plunges 400 points - it's hard to keep ahead of the pack. If you're not doing at least three countries a month, you're not doing it at all.

To read about rollicking adventures in far flung lands, point your browers to http://twophatkiwis.blogspot.com/; to read about Rock stuffing his face yet again, you've come to the right url.

With fitness the focus on the day of Sydney's Running Festival, Rockwas first off the mark... for the icecream soda. All part of Rock's plan for a glorious spring day in the harbour city: start building up cholesterol tolerance to yankee levels, lest Uncle Sam turn him away at the boarder. Fortunately, Sydney institution and bogan magnet Pancakes on the Rocks has opened up an outlet on Darling Harbour. If the markets don't turn around, it could be the last meal on The Rock for a while...

You think that's good? Just wait till you try a proper root beer float... complete with iced mug and curly fries.

Incoming diabetes with a side of heart attack. Ok, ok, for those readers who come from out on the range where this would count as a mere entree, I apologize in advance for the hyperbole.

Mmmm... melted cheesy artificiality will soothe over the stresses of a bloody week in the markets.


Is anyone else noticing a theme here? Other than the obvious inane comment thematic.

Imagine that's the East River... and that's the Brooklyn bridge... And if the markets don't turn around, keep right on imagining...



To Alan Greenspan these could grudgingly be examples of "speculative price imbalances"; to everyone else, they're bubbles.

You know it's a slow news day when this is the big finale.

Hawkish Times on the Hawkesbury

With the grey winter skies mirroring the grim mood in the City as the Dow plunges another 200 points, the annual Bank Holiday couldn't come soon enough. Heck I'd need a holiday too if I'd written off 400 billion in 12 bleak months... Luckily for Rock, despite what the lawyers are at pains to point out, it seems a Group still is enough of a Bank to cash in on what has to be the most flimsy excuse for a holiday since some bright spark decided to celebrate a day when a bunch of lazy polititians didn't get turned into fireworks...

Gotta love a country where this counts as the heart of winter. (Rock is prepared to be magnanimous in his praise after the All Black's mighty crushing of the short-lived upstarts.)

The rat race of Sydney seems a long way away. Well until the next millionarie's yatch cruises by and shatters the peace with 10000 horsepower of pure global warming.

Lady Libert... I mean Lady Chairman.

Mei heard there's plenty of openings in the Wobblies shambolic line out.

Rock runs into the only dudes who can down a fish and chips platter faster than he can.

With a convenient fish and chips shop just up the road, and a parking lot full of day-trippers, it's no surprise that the local denziens have plenty of time to preen in between rubbish bin raids.

In any other state, one could safely assume this quaint vehicular ferry is a throwback to a simpler time. But with Iemma clinging to the helm of NSW, it could well be the first step in his "grand" vision for the future of Sydney's public transport network.

Apparently the fishing is pretty good around here. Mei agrees, she caught a lovely snapper first try... using only a fork. It even came out with a nice golden batter...

There's a lot of For Sale signs out there on the marina. Forget last week's consumer sentiment readings, here's the true indication of just where the economy is heading.

Now that's a table with a view.

But Rock has his eyes firmly fixed on the real scenery.

For a mid winter's day, things could be worse. Like if the ABs had lost two in a row to those pesky Wallabies.

No wonder Kiwis are flooding over here as fast as Air NZ can funnel them over. Just so long as the Bledisloe stays over on the other side of the ditch all is well with the world.