Time for Tapas Part 6: Don't Forget to Attend Chursque

The little town of Cordoba is famous for one thing: La Mezquita, an immense mosque that was later converted into a cathedral. A chursque if you will. The hotel is quite cool too, it's built on top of a Roman ruin that's visible through strategically-placed glass floors. Although once Ryan is done with the upstairs you won't need glass tiles to see a ruin.

This is the kind of sitting room that makes hotel proprietors cringe when they see a stroller rolling in the front door.

Dad I'll have the one that's been dry aged half as long as I've been alive.

A centurion on the Roman Bridge seem to have fallen a little out of rank. Surely the first signs of decay in the Great Roman Empire.

What would Caesar say? A little decorum please this isn't Caesars Palace.

So Mommy am I right in assuming this channel uses gravity to convey the fresh-squeezed contents of this tree directly to my bottle?

Let's see, is this the mosque bit or the church bit? I guess we could wait and see which half is on Trump's travel ban.

No kids under 12 allowed says the sign at the foot of the tower, conveniently translated into five languages. Dad will be grabbing that one for the foot of the big bed.

The view is even better when you don't have to lug 30 pounds of squirm up the narrow stone stairs.

Looks like some of the local peasants have stopped by to pay homage to His Magnificence, Dorkchester XIII.

Back at the hotel just in time to make sure none of the other guests get to enjoy the serene courtyard or romantic orange grove either.

Always convenient when the ancient ruins are but a crawl away.

Nice Daddy, finally a mode of transport you can't stall.

The bright lights of Madrid offer a nice change of pace from the rather sleepy villages down south. Especially when you've imported a party animal from London.

Uncle Devan, tell me the one about the little latte that wanted to be a flat white.

The Malasana neighborhood is so hip you'd be forgiven for wondering where the canal with toxic sludge is hiding.

Only in Spain would you find a playground smack bang in the middle of the party street. So kids can watch their parents get hammered from the comfort of their bouncy trains.

In Spain there's no such thing as a night in. It's becoming increasingly obvious why nothing manages to open until late afternoon.

Real men knock back a handful of jellybeans between shots.

Speaking of jellybeans, it's not too hard to figure out where the architect behind Madrid's airport got his inspiration. After all in Spain you don't drink on the job, drinking is the job.

Time for Tapas Part 5: Sleepless in Seville

For a city that peaked in the 17th century as the richest in the world, Seville isn't looking too shabby a few centuries into middle age. If this is what over the hill looks like, sign me up.

Magellan launched his epic circumnavigation of the world from here, the original Star Alliance round the world ticket. Amazingly they didn't lose his luggage although he did regrettably lose his head.

Hotel Alfonso XIII. You'd think with such a grandiose title they could manage a stroller ramp? Nope. Time to demote to XII.

Looks like one of those fake castles. What time is the lights parade and where's the fast pass entrance?

The imposing Granada Cathedral, the final resting place of Christopher Columbus. Which means the thought police are on their way to rip up the tomb for not having the appropriate Here Lies a Typhoid-Peddling Pillager disclaimer.

No one even bothers coming out until at least 10pm in Spain and it's not until 11 that things are really pumping. Not the worst thing when you've got a kid on New York time.

Flat tire? No worries the Vespa Doctor is on call!

Now that's a sign that's impossible to walk past. Bizarrely it's the sister cafe of one in Richmond, Virginia. Which kind of calls into question the whole single origin thing.

Is that the royal family? Yes it is, direct descendants of the Count Dooku line.

Let's show those pansy New World Central Park horses how we do it here in the Old World.

Plaza de Espana, built for some kind of expo in 1928. By the looks of it an expo actually worth seeing, unlike that one in Shanghai. Ahem.

Upon the founding of this blog Team J00ster vowed never to be caught doing the dreaded "touristy" stuff, of which the ubiquitous horse and carriage ride surely tops the list.  Well we might as well tell the driver to haul us straight to the Cheesecake Factory and call it a day. End of an era.

Which one is Columbus' tomb again? I want to let him know his Circle in New York is safe from the neo-liberals.

It's amazing what you can afford if you plunder an entire continent.

The futurist central market in Seville is a welcome respite from the endless lineup of cathedrals.

Tapas with a hipster twist.

Back at Plaza de Espana. Seems to have ripped off everything about Venice except the sinking part.

You did the carriage, might as well complete the trifecta and sign up for the gondola ride and hop-on-hop-off double decker bus. And then we'll hit up McDonald's on the way back to the Holiday Inn.

So just to ruin it for everyone, Plaza de Espana was used for the exterior shots of Naboo in Attack of the Clones. I guess it could be worse, you could be the backdrop for Canto Bight...

These Spanish kids don't know how lucky they are having a playground every couple of blocks.

Another day another gory bull fight. Oh wait, those flying entrails are  all that's left after Ryan tackles some giant Mediterranean prawns.