And where better to start than this bronzed tribute to Leonardo's enlightened Renaissance Man. I mean check it out, that toned physique makes Mich's David look like he's spent the last 500 years playing World of Warcraft in a dimly lit hovel. Here this new age hero strikes a statuesque pose after completing a thorough examination of some of the fine silicon sculptures that pop up on Bondi every summer and aren't afraid of a little exhibitionism...
World renown expert on Far Eastern art and guest critic gets up close and personal with this thought provoking upside-down "kangaroogler", to use Dr Zhu's words. "Here the artist has achieved a unique juxtaposition of parallel realities", she commented, "for in Australia we perceive the world around us as normal, and yet, from an alternative perspective we are literally standing on our heads for the majority of the world's population. What then is reality? Is there an absolute?".
Stop press: we regret to inform the reader the previous commentary has been inadvertedly misquoted, and the author apologies for this error. In fact, the correct verbatim was "So crap", which was inadvertedly transcribed as the above erroneous quote.
To get back to the tour though, Professor Cahan illustrates (above) that to truely get inside the mind of the artist, one must become one with the sculpture. Even if oneness involves doing your best impression of a spiky red polyurathane sea urchin.
Six Short People by the Sea. Oh wait, sorry Mei, that's Five Short People by the Sea. How silly of me, I can't count.
The always innovative city council realises the best way to clean up the beach is to pop an exhibit number next to each rusting wreck, put a photo in a nice glossy brochure, have some BS artist write a paragraph or two on the inpermanence of mankind's futile struggle to rule the sea, and ta da! No more weekly run to the rubbish tip.
A down under version of Tatlin's Monument to the Third International.
A Dali-esque pitcher perches on the edge of cliff. An awestuck Cahan could only mutter "this is deep". No doubt in awe at the artist's sublime command of the subconscious. No doubt.
Dr Zhu is more interested in whether there's any miso left in the bottom of the pot.
Art critic and subject share a dialogue on the mysteries of the artist's mind. Mysteries that only deepen when duck feet and a severed duck head feature prominently. Then again, cutting off a duck head is better than cutting off one's own ear. Or maybe not - I doubt this creation will be going at Christie's for 47.1m pounds in a century or two.
Ka Mate! Ka Mate! Hang on, given the way the mighty All Black forward pack ripped the heart out of Les Blues, that bloke doesn't quite look like he'd fit the new mold of loose forward. Perhaps there's an English jersey waiting for him though...
Now we're getting artistic. Here the artist crafts both space and negative space in a symbolic destruction of the picture plane. That's art speak for cutting a hole in the middle.
A symbolic solution to NSW's devastating drought, proudly co-sponsored by Macquarie Infrastructure Group and Morris Iemma (in a deal conveniently brokered by MacBank's Mr Carr).
Up, up and away! Futurism comes to Sydney.
A new take on Aussie folk hero Ned Kelly. Michaelangelo & Raphael took away the clothes; Cezanne, Braques & Picasso took away the picture plane; Kandinsky and Mondrian took away tangible subject matter; Manzoni took away a can of his own faeces; but one thing you can never take away is the convict in an Australian.
Botticelli's Venus wonders where her cool floating clamshell has gone. And where those clothes came from... The ESPIRIT Vatican factory outlet?
