Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will. Or rather, you'll consumer it, in unlimited quantities. It being the once-maligned All Inclusive. It's amazing what two kids and eight years will do to your pride. And your wallet. So here we are again, less than 18 months after the flight of shame to J00ster Journal's first All Inclusive, doing it all over again.
Get ready for unlimited everything kiddos. If you come back wearing the same size shorts you've failed the mission.
You know, for all the hype the dusty road less traveled gets, there's something to be said for the immaculately landscaped road frequently traveled.
Presidente Light. Proud owner of stake in Truthe Social.
Macro. Polo. Marco. Polo. Marco... hang on, I'm triggered, Marco Polo was a Colonizer-Oppressor!
I'm a foreign policy expert; I can see Haiti from my balcony.
Need something to pass the time between buffet runs? Try the on-site water park.
Not exactly potato famine weather, is it?
Aren't you a little tall for a leprechaun? Never mind, you can pinch me whenever you want.
Every night is movie night in paradise. Unlimited popcorn to go with unlimited screen time. Beat that.
Actually I just did, by throwing in unlimited sodas.
When you cross that magic line between the Adults Only side of the resort and the Family side you can't help but notice the pools are a little bluer, the palm trees a little fluffier, the drinks a little stronger, the parents a little happier. Ok a lot.
Cheers to unlimited cheers.
Back to reality on the Family side. Which means Trolls for the eighth time.
Set course for... uhm the shallows off the resort so I can get back on their wifi?
Mermaid off the port bow!
Remember, if the pirates try to board us, don't all walk the plank at once, no matter how Instagram-worthy the turquoise water is.
Ho, ho, ho, and a bottle of... light grog.
Good news, no major bridges in sight.
You can never have too much paradise. That's why you're at an All Inclusive.
One more popsicle for the road. Ok fine, two more.
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