Non alius claudus blog stipes*

* roughly translated: "not another lame blog post"

Harvard, Columbia, Penn, and now Princeton. Despite Rock's best efforts, not a lot of the ivy is rubbing off on these literary efforts.

Princeton is a blue chip campus if there ever was one. There's not many student towns where the cheapest backpack you can find comes from Coach.

Here you don't buy a milkshake between lectures, you sample a selection of hand made organic gellatos between reading for philosophy and latin.

Oh my, Princton has never seen anything like this un-Ivy behaviour. How very state school!

Intellectual elitism is easy when your bell tower looks like this.

This is what a student flat looks like in this part of the world.

One of Princeton's most famous vistors. Oh, and Einstein passed through as well. Hey, as the big dude says, it's all relative. I don't care what part of space-time you're from, you gotta do something about that hair mate.

This is where students come to get a little high end support for this semester's finals.

This is the Ada St equivalent. These low end flats only have six bedrooms and one butler each. Oh the shame.

4 years, $160,000 bucks for a bit of paper with a Princeton stamp; or 5 minutes, $25 bucks for a pair of running shorts with a Princeton stamp. Rock takes the quick and easy way to a bit of Ivy cred.

One of these dudes is apparently a legend on the campus. I'll let you guess which one.

This is where Princeton students dine between philosophical discourses. Sure they have tablecloths instead of week-old copies of Chaff. Sure they have menus instead of a random assortment of meat pies. Sure they have waiters instead of grumpy old ladies who think an order for five milkshakes is outside their job description. But they can do all the discoursing they want, I'll be in the hacky field guys.

Hmmm... is that the Phi Beta Kappa Lamer sorority salute?

Give me liberty, or give me root beer!

Philadelphia: The city of brotherly love - there's gotta be cheap twin joke or two in that tag line. Which this blog will of course shamelessly exploit.

Dude, just 'cause your room has a line of sight to Independence Hall does not mean you suddenly have the gift of orating to the masses.

This trip starts where most do: in Chinatown. There's something ironic with starting every new city at the very spot where they are all the same. I mean, there's a Dragonesque gate. There's a noodle house. There's Rock and Mei pigging out on pork buns. You don't have to travel the world to see that sight: try the Chinese takeaway downstairs.

Liberty! Nothing like a busted bell to ring liberty into the darkest corners of the world. Rock, it seems, needs liberating from a shirt that appears to be struggling with the local Chinatown delights.

"Freedom is a light, for which many men have died in darkness." Let's not forget the cost of freedom runs a lot higher than the repair bill for a big broken bell.

Show a little dignity folks. This is where olde timers in really tight tights scribbled on a piece of paper. Some sort of declaration that ye shall blast fireworks every year.

The birthplace of a nation, the aptly named Independence Hall.

Christchurch? What a difference a space can make.

Stop three on the Ivy League tour (Harvard, check. Columbia, check. Massey, che... get outta here bro). All hail the erudite green stone of the mighty University of Pennsylvania.
Mei's mortarboard isn't quite what she was expecting.

The twin towers of Penn meet the twin towers of Massey.

Wharton School of Business. This is another place Rock didn't attend. Sure, they have a cool wall, but their hacky field is covered with snow half the time.

Rocky Balboa! The good thing about a still photo is you only have to run up the last three steps, instead of the whole flight.

On your mark... get set... beat the other dude senseless.

I'm sure when Brotherly Love was first invented it didn't sound quite so gay.

Somehow I don't think the real Rocky would be all that impressed to see you getting your ass kicked by a girl. Quick, cut to a training montage.

Any city that has a Rocky has got to be worth visiting. The same cannot be said for any blog that has a Rocky.

What's the difference between a photo album and a blog? In a photo album you can enjoy the photos without having to read filler comments like this.

Philadelphia is famous for Rocky and cheesesteaks. Rocky is famous for eating cheesesteaks, among other things. Lots of things actually. Like pork buns. Anyway, this is the most famous cheesesteak joint in Philly. Throw some cheese and grilled beef on a bun, call it a cheesesteak, and bingo, you'll have the tourists lining up around the block to get a piece of the action.

It's a small world after all...

...especially if this is the first time you've been to Disney World since you were 10 years old. But sure, the turns on Thunder Mountain aren't quite as fast, the drops on the log ride aren't quite as high, and the Haunted Mansion isn't quite as spooky, but gosh darn it, the hotdogs still taste just as good. Welcome to Disney World folks!

Not a bad spot for a conference.

Hard to find the motivation to tackle the queues in the Magic Kingdom when the room opens onto the beach. Perhaps I'll waddle down to the convenient mobility scooter stand down in the hotel lobby. Why these days they even come complete with two convenient cup holders - one for your super upsized soda, and the other for your dialysis machine.


Welcome to the Magic Kingdom. Have a Magical Day (tm). And make sure you spend what's left of you stimulus package on a pair of Mickey ears and a corn dog. Seriously, it would be un-American not to.

Casey's hot dog stand. Who would have thought there's life beyond WoW?

Quick, get a photo. This is the last home in Florida that hasn't been foreclosed on yet.

The jungle cruise. Rock looks a little to blase about the impending doom at the jaws of an enraged flotilla of crocodiles. Almost like he's seen it all before...

This is the before shot. We sold the after shot for a Weightwatchers commercial.

Mei wonders how the Swiss Family Robinson managed to recover the soda fountains from their doomed vessel in such good working condition.

Look, they even crafted a convenient, water-powered pulley system to lift cokes from the river cooler to the lookout deck.

Hot diggity dog that's a good hot dog.

Cruising the waterways of the Kingdom. Supposedly that's Tom Sayer out there on that log peeling potatos. Hopefully for the big bucket of french fries I'm gonna buy when we moor.

To infinity and beyond! In other words, time to brave the queue for Thunder Mountain.

It's a small world after all. But at least they didn't downsize it by cutting the most important part. Ka mate!

Time for some splash action at Typhoon Lagoon. Hang on to that hat, the Pinnaple Crusher looms behind that gate.

Rock demonstrates why the target market for the Ab Rocket infomercial is rather expansive (hur hur hur) in this part of the world.

Splashdown! Careful Mei, if I couldn't swim I'm not sure I'd share a raft with that landlubber.


Next stop, the swine flu incubator. Hey, they sell tacos too - that's a bonus!

Mickey Mouse and Friends. Well, Mickey Mouse and another walking profit centre.

In the future GM will make spaceships. Well, I guess Star Trek has brought alternate realities back in vogue.

Disney Hollywood Studios. This was before the Tower of Terror. Afterwards was somewhat less photogenic.

I am C3PO, human cyborg relations. And you are? Another CFA? Oh my, if my memory banks serve me correctly, that's part of the Corrillia system?

Beep dee doo blip dweep. My, but that is much more perceptive than anything Rock could have written.

The reason they never find the Lock Ness Monster is because he decided long ago that a freezing bog somewhere in the Scottish Highlands has got nothing on a nice retirement pond in sunny Orlando.

Ok confession time. We went to the T-rex Cafe. Yep, that's right, we sold out the land of Per Se, Masa, and Gordon Ramsey for the tacky thrills of animated stegosauruses, complete with convenient stroller parking stations.

And you know what? It was pretty darn good. No wonder you don't see many brontosauruses around these days - their ribs sure are tasty.

Last stop, the Lego shop. Why it's the Hong Kong skyline. I wonder if they make a new translucent smog brick?

Double teamed! Take that evil Lego robot, we'll blow you into a million pieces (geddit, hur hur hur).