Thursday, October 01, 2009

Pacific Northwest Part 4: Westward Ho!

Saddle up folks and hitch up the wagon, it's time to head west! Next stop (ok I'm taking a little artistic license here and avoiding all mention of the Calgary Airport Travelodge) is Banff National Park, about an hour and a half west of Calgary.

The bad news is this is Rock's first attempt at driving on the right hand side of the road. The good news is if he gets it wrong at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing your entrails are helping a couple of cute black bear cubs fatten up for their impending winter hibernation.

First stop is fortunately not in front of the flashing lights of the local highway patrol, but rather in the gateway town of Banff, nestled in the heart of, surprise surprise, Banff National Park.

It's Main Street USA! Actually, that's not far from the mark. The town of Banff might as well have been designed by uncle Walt himself, given the picture perfect artificiality of the 'mountain village' kitsch. Which in J00ster's book is not a bad thing at all. Especially if they have a Casey's Hotdog Stand.

Any second Mickey Mouse is going to come bouncing into frame.

Even the churches look like they're right out of an America the Beautiful music video. Except this is Canada. Anyway, the mountain in the background gives a hint of things to come. Or you could just scroll down if you don't have the patience for hints.

Enough of the mountains-on-a-travelator experience, it's time to find the real wilderness. By which I of course mean stopping at every scenic pull-over along the road and waddling just far enough away from the parking lot such that no Cruisers or zimmer frames get in the photo.

Since when do you need to find a makeup kit for a 2 hour hike?

First hiking pitstop: Johnson Canyon, half way between Banff and Lake Louise.

The trail starts out as an easy boardwalk, but then transforms into a rugged... actually no, it pretty much stays a boardwalk the whole way.

So clear and clean you can almost taste it. Except your mouth is filled with... err.. wilderness provisions. You know, like Pringles. Imagine how much faster the West would have been won if they'd had Pringles to power them along.

The lower falls in the canyon is a spectacular jet of water that thunders over a precipice. Well worth the hike. Especially when hike should probably have inverted commas around it, and a cynical comment about zimmer frames after it. Luckily for readers, Rock already used that one up.



Sick of waterfalls yet? By the time this blog is over you'll be able to add mountains, lakes, glaciers, chili crab, and Rock's writing to the list. Actually, the latter has probably already made the list, hasn't it?

Hmmm... since it's upside down I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

This is pretty much the biggest land mammal we saw, despite three days in a park that is supposed to have one of the highest concentration of big land mammals in the world. This is true regardless of whether you choose to include your typical RV inhabitant in the mix or not.

The upper falls is even more impressive than the lower falls. Which is a good thing, given the extra hour and extra Pringles required to hike to them.

Next stop, Lake Louise. On the way, Castle Mountain looms large over the highway. With original nomenclature like that, it fits perfectly into this blog.

Home for the night - the Lake Louise Chateau, perched on the edge of the famous lake. Which probably explains the Manhattan-esque price for overnight parking.

Room with a view. If this were a real estate website, we'd call this intimate lake views. However, this is Rock's blog, so intimate views are probably best left to those who have subscribed to the pay-per-view version.

With a bed like that, trails can wait. And wait. And wait. Must be dinner time by now.

First look at the stunning Lake Louise.


Who are those hardy souls out there in that canoe? Probably the only tourists rich enough to fork over the exorbitant 50 bucks per half hour rental fee.

Call me a spoilsport, but will someone please remove those flowers so I can take more shots of the lake.

What did I say about being sick of lakes?


Before the sun sets there's just time for a quick hike up to a lookout. Quick being the operative word since it's prime black bear season, and dusk is their favorite hunting hour.


The next morning dawns clear and warm. A good thing for us, but a bad thing for readers, since it means a whole new set of lake pics.


Or glaciers. Did I mention glaciers yet?

Is this a slimming mirror? Unfortunately, the dry summer means Mirror Lake isn't really living up to its name. Hard to be a mirror when you can see the bottom through one centimeter of water.

The big beehive. If you're cool, you climb it for epic views of the surrounding Rockies. Needless to say, we didn't.

More glaciers. This is nothing, just wait till you read all about the Iceroad Parkway. Or am I being a bit presumptuous assuming you've even made it this far?

Epic vistas. Before Microsoft made Vista a dirty word.

Are we there yet? How come I can't see the teahouse?

So far no bears. But also no teahouse. Call it even.


Looks a bit like a giant cupcake. Or rather a giant cupcake before Mei eats all the frosting off and palms off the leftover cake bit to Rock.

Where oh where is the teahouse? Have we gone the wrong way? This is obviously all Rock's fault.

Hang on, follow the convenient, non-photoshopped pointer. Look up yonder in that grove of pines. If I'm not mistaken, it's a teahouse perched an a ledge.

Wow. Before Blizzard made WoW a dirty word.

Rock ventures out into a waterfall to get the perfect shot.

Lake Anges. Worth the strenuous hike. Well, worth it if the tea is good.
If you think you've seen this before, it's because you have. That's right, this was already put in the been-there-done-that-what's-next bucket by the good folk over at TwoPhat.
Hot chocolate never tasted, or looked, so good.

One last photo stop before heading back down the mountain. Heck of a long way to climb for a cuppa, but hey, there's more to life than food. (Ed - Really?)

But wait, there's more!

A fitting finale to Lake Louise and surrounds.

Next stop, or rather non-stop, the Icefields Parkway.

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