The Wild West: Part 1

Howdy pardners, ya'll gather round and I'll spin you a yarn as tall as that Ponderosa over yonder. Actually, this being J00ster, there's not a tree tall enough for that simile. Plus out in these parts a simile is probably something you sardonically flash at the local sheriff when he asks you if you have a license for that six shooter in your holster. Much like the weathered false front on the local saloon or those gimmicky Coors cans that turn blue when they're cold, this convoluted introduction is merely a cheap guise to distract from the lack of contents within.

Chapter 1 of the latest J00ster expedition begins in Vegas, albeit briefly. Rather than fritter away what little savings the GFC spared (or perhaps more accurately, to avoid listening to Rock's incessant rant on the futility of negative expected return events), Team J00ster hit the road immediately for the only hole deeper than Rock's casino ledger...

It's the Grand Canyon baby! And Grand it certainly is. It even comes with a Grandma.

Wow. The scale is hard to appreciate, even when standing on the very brink. Of course, leaning a bit past the brink will quickly give one a much better appreciation of the scale. You'd certainly have time to skim the rest of this blog before the crunch. It's that deep. The canyon, not the blog. (Although the critics out there might argue you could fall off the curb outside your front door and still have time to skim this motley collection of words.)


The vastness gives a perspective on one's own insignificance in the grand scheme of things. Much like those Humvees on I-90.

Oh look, another tree shot. Which will win the day, Rock's repetitive tree shots, or Rock's cringe-inducing wild west/cowboy/redneck references?

Let's saddle up folks and move to the next lookout. Trees 1, crappy western references 1. Will we need overtime?

The thing about something this big is that no matter where you look at it from, it looks kind of the same. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing when the view is so epic... unless of course you're reading all about someone else's awesome holiday on some two bit blog.

The vulture's eyes are perking up. A Thanksgiving feast might be coming early.

In my defense, this isn't a tree, it's a rock.

So is this.

Ok, fine. Another tree.

The edge of the world.

C-3PO would have called this a desolate place. Before the dark times, before the blue screen.

Been there, done that. Is it time for Thanksgiving turkey yet?

Taking pictures of trees is hard work.
The harshest critic of them all gives the canyon a 60 degree thumbs up. That's about as close to perfection as you'll ever get from her.

Surely this mysterious sentinel tower is some relic from a lost age, constructed eons ago by an ancient culture swept away in the mists of time? Actually it's a gift shop.

Just when you though Rock was out of cheap tricks.

No way, is that a full thumbs up? Unheard of!

After years of painstaking research, Dr Zhu finally unravels the ancient etchings. "This way to the coke machine".

Out here in the wilderness they sure do know how to carve a turkey. And make a cheesecake.

El Tovar, the oldest lodge in the park is over 100 years old and still going strong. So is Mei after powering up on turkey and stuffing.

Nothing like an afternoon ramble to burn off those Thanksgiving pounds. The only problem being that if you fail to burn them off on the downhill leg, the hike back up becomes somewhat more challenging.

Which brings us to the end of the first leg of this journey. Stay tuned for all the red rock action from Sedona. How many bad Commie Rock puns can you make with that combo? If this blog was any more juvenile it would have a Fisher Price tag on it.