By wanderings we mean sitting in bumper to bumper traffic for more hours than Team J00ster spend at their respective desks, which is saying a lot... in Rock's case anyway if not Mei's. But back to the story. Actually there's not much story. When you follow right on the heels of an epic trek through desolate steppes and impassable mountains to the foot of the highest point on earth, it's always going to be a tough act to follow. But with Rock's command of hyperbole, it won't be for lack of trying.
Rock gets into the spirit. Or tries to. The problem is supposedly sunny SoCal is looking suspiciously like real Tokyo weatherwise.
What are two things Japan does better than anyone else? If you said ramen and sushi you're wrong. Ok, you're right, but that's not what I meant. The correct answer is: vending machines and Hello Kitty. Unfortunately Mei's quest to grab one - and her dollar - go the way of the Nikkei post 1989.
Rice bowl! Couldn't have said it better myself.
This funky spot is clearly popular with the locals, there's a line up just to in for a weekday lunch. You think it was long the first time, just wait till you see it after this J00ster shout out.
There's one lucky little piggy who managed to avoid being converted into some of the best pork belly this side of Momofuku.
Hai! Rock has no idea what the ubiquitous Japanese cat gesture is all about. Add it to the list of Japanese mysteries right below "why do ice cream cones need to come out of vending machines?", and "do you really need enough buttons and switches on you toilet to fly a 747?".
This is the communist version of Hollywood's green room. It's where Party officials go to change out of their Gucci and into their dusty Mao Man of the People (tm) waistcoats before heading out to rally up a few more percentage points of GDP.
The new LA Live complex is meant to revitalize what was a fairly grim section of downtown LA. With Staples Center right next door it surely does when the Lakers are on court, but on a weekday afternoon the whole Live part is looking like a bit of a misnomer. Kind of like fun size Snickers. What's so fun about a chocolate bar that's been shrunk so much it's having an identity crisis as a chocolate chip?
Hey, in my defense he has an advantage, he's standing on a pedestal!
Mei checks out some Kobe pajamas. Hang on, whaddya mean that's a jersey? How come it goes to my feet? Some questions - like are college football players really amateurs, or do I look short in this - are best left unasked.
Mei uses the rapid fire delivery she perfected yelling at Rock for another missed exit on the LA freeways to take color commentary to the next level. "And it's Rock, from point, darting in to the exit lane. Now he flicks right, but the defense is all over him! There's no room in the paint! He sees an opening... he shoots... and it's no good! The blue SUV is there to deny him again! The crowd is groaning, they thought he finally had that one. And now, back to you Herne."
The corner of Rodeo Drive and Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills is the place to be seen, assuming of course you've actually, like, had some work done. Stepping out without your daily botox? Oh the shame, you might as well drive a Toyota down the middle of the road... err.... wait a minute.
Fake Italian architecture, fake friendships, fake boobs? No problem, just don't show up with fake Prada. Gotta love that LA attitude.
Platinum power. Actually, it might as well be copper given the price tags in Miu Miu.
Hit Me Baby One More Time. Appropriate really as Rock lines up for take six after failing yet again to get the manual exposure settings right.
How many times has this blog needed an embedded Raiders or Star Wars midi? How many times have readers been grateful blogger.com doesn't support them.
Rock's interpretation of Kraft macaroni's "you know you love it" is a little too literal. Even by liberal Hollywood standards. Tree hugging is ok, but getting physical with oversized macaroni is on par with voting Republican.
Rocky, now that man deserves an Oscar. Or at least his blog does - how about Best Original Trash Can Liner.
The famous Chinese Theater is cool, but it would no doubt be cooler if Rock wasn't too cheap to fork over for a tour of the inside.
Now will I be able to crack a whip and fire an Imperial standard issue blaster?
Hanging with the rellies in suburban LA. The problem with the Wii is it's just like real life. If you suck at the real sport, odds are you'll suck online too. Luckily there's no driving game, because judging by the two hour ordeal to get here it could have been a long night.
The Long Beach marina is apparently the biggest in the world. Unfortunately the unrelenting rainy weather is kind of ruining the effect.
Any brunch spot that serves a dish known simply as The Mess gets Rock's stamp of approval.
Last stop, the town of Santa Barbara, a couple hours north of LA. Mei wastes no time making sure the local residents know there's a new boss in town. The days of easy french fries are over.
Still no sun. Alas the vaunted California weather is starting to look like Rock's promises to get this blog up to date.
Palm trees and rain just don't go together. Kind of like Mei and chores.
Finally, a shopping street where the prices don't require scientific notation to fit on the tag.
Already time for the dash back down to LAX. But there's just enough time for a quick stop at Hollywood. They say blonds have more fun. That may have been true, but then Rock showed up.
Rock wonders if this means there's a tasty gingerbread man in the vicinity.
For a trip that started with a Japanese flavor, the glitzy Gonpachi restuarant is a good way to finish. Apparently its sister restaurant in Tokyo was used for the filming of some of the indoor scenes in Kill Bill.
Speaking of kill bill, that's what Rock needs after loading up on half of the rather pricey menu.
No comments:
Post a Comment