Let the countdown begin! It may still be 12 hours to 2014, but this is South America. That means yesterday's party is only just winding down.
A lazy day exploring the charms of Palermo Soho is just the ticket for building up the requisite energy to party like a local. Or in Rock's case, to make it to midnight.
Is it a genuine Banksy? Probably not, but think of it as a dossant, not quite a real cronut but just as satisfying and without the queue. Or to use a local metaphor, Coca-Cola Life anyone?
A bar on every corner and a bike rack at every bar. Biking under the influence is the ultimate demonstration of gyroscopic physics in action. Just when you though there was no law in the universe strong enough to keep that wasted chick upright...
Want to raise real estate prices in your neighborhood? Just roll out the curated, vintage trinket cart and watch the bankers fall over themselves to buy some faux-coolness.
How many speakeasies can one hide in an alley?
There's only one universal test for gentrification. If it's called graffiti, buy now. If it's called street art, you've missed the boat.
With all things retro cool again it's no wonder socialism is making a comeback. There's a reason hip coffee roasters use hammer and sickle logos and slap "collective" somewhere in their name. Because you know, spending six bucks on an organic, single-origin pour-over is the right of the people gosh darn it, not just the bourgeoisie elite.
Excellent, now we can enjoy all the comforts of home, like a two month waiting list and a convoluted "we only take reservations at 12.01am on the third day after the first full moon of the winter solstice" booking policy.
If the entry to the store is bigger than a New York apartment, it's probably not somewhere you want to be shopping.
They don't open the door unless you meet the spending threshold. It's a worrying sign that it's swinging open quite readily.
With a paint scheme like that the food has got to be good.
At first it's not quite clear why they provide crayons at the table. But you quickly realize the downside of being the Paris of the Southern Hemisphere is the same service paradigm, or lack thereof, applies. By the time the menus arrive we'll have the next Mona Lisa.
Just in case Rock doesn't make it all the way to the countdown, we'll do a countdown to 12pm for some backup photos.
There's cool, there's super cool, and then there's colored speed bumps. Get outta here!
No wonder no one does any work around here. Just borrow money, default, and repeat.
Well that's not very nice.
Why use one color when you can use three? Why have one sangria when you can have three? Why not?
It's that time of the year again folks. Raise a glass, 2014 here we come! Of course, since no one remembered to actually bring their phone there's no actual way of knowing when the clock strikes midnight. That's ok, just keep drinking all night and chances are you'll hit the mark.
Fireworks and champagne in the streets. That's how they roll over here.
You know it's a good party when the Brazilians decide to gatecrash.
There's only one plausible destination when you need some grease to soak up the remnants of a night of excess.
The last dinner in Buenos Aires is something special: a so-called closed door dinner. Now for those thinking that most dinners tend to happen behind closed doors, unless the restaurant is suffering from a deficit of hinges, let us clarify. A closed door dinner is where you're invited to a communal dinner at a local's house, and they cook up a meal for you. After closing the door of course.
Last day in Buenos Aires, which means nursing those few remaining dollars through at least five more meals. Believe it or not, there is an alternative to steak: ground up steak between two buns. How novel.
This is where Team J00ster offloaded the rest of their greenbacks in exchange for some authentic Argentinian hipster wear. Say what? Oh you mean these are just normal-sized jeans? Are you sure, they're awfully tight?
Just in case you want to play Scotland the Brave on your aorta.
One more café for the road.
In 2010 Argentina was the first Latin American state to legalize gay marriage. Good on them, but there's a little bit of irony in the fact that's about the only thing the government doesn't have it's hand in. Oh well, the upside is there's five men's shops for every women's shop. As they say, it's good to be a guy.
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