Vegas, Baby! Part 4: Which Way to the High STRollers Room?

No wonder Bryce Canyon was so dry, here's all the missing water. No one seems to be complaining though. Especially not Mei.

Come check out our cabana ladies, we've got a couple bottles of Similac with OptiGRO (tm) on ice. Let's get this party started!

So, which one of you wants to check out my playpen? Sesame Street and chill?

That is some serious bling you're working there. The Cosmo's three story chandelier makes a fine nightlight.

Daddy, want to join me for bottle service at 4am? Sure son, but we didn't need to come to Vegas for that.

Proof that Vegas has gone soft in middle age: even the balcony is kid-friendly. What next, stroller parking at the slot machines?

Let's just call this thing now. Dad of the Year. Mic drop.

Look at all those people without babies down there heading out to party. Looks tiring, thank goodness we have an excuse to pack it in at 9pm.

If I actually knew how to use this strange device without a touchscreen I'd give my cousin BK a call.

Any of the physicists on that slot machine will tell you that putting your money in is a negative expected return event. Now putting Daddy's money in on the other hand...

L.A.'s hippest breakfast joint conveniently opened an outpost downstairs in the Cosmo. With a name like that it fits right in on the Strip too.

Rock likes 'em over-easy.

Oh look, a talking tree. How are you going to go back to just reading about them at story time?

Nothing beats swimming up the Champs-Élysées.

Daddy, what do you think about the 1995 Barolo? As long as you mean that $19.95 house red hidden down there at the bottom I'm good with it.

Hoodoos are cool and all, but this trail has air conditioning!

Baby Addy drops by for an evening visit. Ryan, we have guests in the house, try to keep your diaper hitched up.

This whole Vegas with a baby thing ain't half bad. Sure beats feeling the obligation to line up at Tao for four hours.

I'll take three sluts in the morning. Hey, it's Vegas baby!

Here fishy fishy. The aquarium at Mandalay Bay has a surprisingly good lineup of beasts from the deep. Here's a beast from the shallows.

So Grandpa, tell me more about this paradise called New Zealand.

Last stop, Great Grandma's house in L.A.

Are you sure we should be hanging with the hipster crowd?

Ryan, when Daddy said the lumberjack look was cool he meant for riding the L line, not you know, like, cutting down trees.