Sunday, January 14, 2018

Pacific Coast Highway: Mile 2

It's minus 20 back home but barely even autumn on the Best Coast. The bucolic Santa Ynez Valley is only a short hop from the glitzy coastal enclaves of Santa Barbara county but might as well be a different planet.



Dad, these horsies seem to be 53rd percentile for height too.


Cruisin', Los Olivos style.



Don't auction them all off as retro-hipster yard pieces just yet, that Model 3 seems to be mighty slow out of the blocks.



Hashtag organic seems a bit superfluous in these parts. One suspects the good townsfolk of Los Olivos would come charging, reclaimed vintage pitchforks and celebrity litigators drawn, long before the first drop of Roundup got anywhere near the vines lining their Range Rovers' driveways.



Dad, does that water tower contain some raw water? Son, there's plenty of raw water out there if you know where to look. There's a couple of tanks worth right off Moonshine Valley Road for example.


Dad, are you sure this is the lavender farm, or did we take that turn to Death Valley?


Sunstone Vineyards knows just how to move wine into the Millennial age. Forget stuffy cellars and pompous tasting notes, I detect subtle hints of cornhole with a smooth bocce finish.




No risk of drought in these parts.


A member of the ultra-exclusive Kappa Gamma Fergusson sorority demonstrates the superior flight dynamics of Manawatu corn bags. Thank AgHort for that, knew those four year food science degrees were good for something.



Wining and dining, West Coast style.



Remember, no drinking and driving Mommy. Oh that's right, no driving Mommy.



If a Motel 6 can be reincarnated as The Landsby then all things are possible.



Mommy, is this the Island of Sodor? No Ryan, that got shut down because Thomas and Gordon were being paid more than what's her name, that pink engine that appeared as a walk-on extra in half a scene.



If this is a kale smoothie sign me up!



Must be nice to live in a state where the fire pits are for ambiance only and not for, you know, protecting from frostbite. On the other hand, they carry a laundry list of Prop 1, 2, ..., N warnings for all the gruesome diseases you may or may not get should you encounter the indeterminate substances that may or may not be present.



Dad, for the price of that wine you could have got a room with HBO and a hot tub at the predecessor motel.



You realize the deep freeze back east is driving the cost of this fire up by 1000%?


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