Enjoy the rainbow kid, you don't get many of those in Sydney. Oh that's right, because it doesn't rain incessantly there. Burn!
Farewell Aotearoa, it's been a blast. Someone tell Elon Musk to get those intercontinental rocket flights up and running asap.
Looks like the kind of uber-hip hotel where everyone groans when they see a stroller rolling into the lobby. Luckily the industrial-chic searchlight makes it easy to spot the flecks of vomit we may have missed when desperately scrubbing the floor before checkout.
Feeling guilty about global warming? Member of the 0.1%? Now you can assuage your liberal guilt from the comfort of your very own ten million dollar eco-penthouse. There's even a balcony that's perfect for reading the New York Times on.
Dad, I think the rich people up there are using their hyper-mirror to deflect their unwanted afternoon heat on us.
The Spice Alley laneway development is Sydney's attempt to out-graffiti arch rival Melbourne. Strange times we live in when global cities are vying to see who can have the most graffiti.
An alley designed just for Instragram, right down to the hashtag-ready tuk tuk parked outside.
So it turns out we didn't need those typhoid vaccines to eat street Thai food after all.
Don't worry, my living window frame will suck up enough carbon to offset the Bathurst Edition Holden Commodore SSV I've got down in the garage.
Dad on duty so Mommy can go catch up with friends. Luckily he only lost his phone, not the baby.
Sydney moves straight to the top of the Global Playground Rankings with its stunning new Darling Harbor water park.
Come on son, look behind you, it's iconic. You can see a cruise ship anywhere.
I could get used to the cafe life Daddy. Did you say you and Mommy have a condo in walking distance to the University of Sydney?
Now that's just rubbing it in. Another park, another custom-designed playground, this one in the hip Surry Hills hood.
Rogue One and a Half.
Hot air balloons and water features weren't enough, you had to go and add an Indiana Jones swing bridge too! How's a kid supposed to go back to a rusty jungle gym in the shadow of the Projects?
Daddy, I'm a marsupial!
If you'd like the full retro-chic experience I can extract a molar with a pair of skinny pliers.
Mommy, I'll have what's she's having.
It looked nice until the diapers got unpacked. Sigh.
Dr. Jones I presume? Thank goodness someone other than Shia LaBeouf is in the sidecar.
Cafe in a surf shop. I'll take a Great White with my flat white thanks.
Kids ask the darndest questions, for example: Daddy, why on earth don't you still live 10 minutes from Bondi Beach? You got me kiddo.
Pace yourself kid, there's still 23 hours and 55 minutes to go.
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