It's surely morning somewhere in the world, just not here. The countdown to the Apollo 11 launch has got nothing on the countdown to the 6am buffet opening. Putting man on the moon is a trivial engineering feat compared to keeping an almost-four year old away from the expensive-looking pottery that festoons the lobby for three hours.
But boy is the wait worth it. Look at that, a dedicated buffet room just for the kids. Well, just for our kids seeing as no one else is dumb enough to drag theirs to the other side of the world.
Mommy, this pureed kimchi is really hitting the spot.
Hey, can I join your table? All these stuffed Ikea vegetables have got to be cheaper than the big person buffet.
Hey, the U.S.-Rock Alliance is go! Sorry Kim Jong, there's a new force in town and he comes armed with two very agile, very whiny ICBMs. You really, really don't want to take that 3am call. Believe me, I take it every day.
Don't cross the 38th parallel folks. These Texans know how to build a really beautiful, magnificent wall.
I think Uncle Kim has platforms too.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down? Probably best not to use the Fox news channel number for the launch code.
Mommy can we go see some real Korean sights, like the BTS boy band?
Sorry kid, you look too much like a boy for a Korean boy band.
Quick, get a selfie in before the kids somehow squirm their way into the DMZ.
So BK, can you believe how uncool these olds are? I mean like my Daddy's blog doesn't even disappear after 10 seconds. Like it just sits around on the internet. Forever. Laaaaaaammmme.
Yes they look cool but I really hope their big drum isn't the last line of defense against Kim's nukes.
A dedicated kid's viewing section! Even the emperor has to sit behind them.
Race you to the bottom! Hey, that's an uncharitable way to talk about your Dad and Uncle's blogs.
A Pip on the hip.
Daddy, are these houses as old as you?
Hipsterfication is the new globalization.
Daddy, I like this crib, I promise not to slobber on the plush towels.
The Dongdaemun design plaza has more curves than New Zealand highway.
You know, kimchee is nice and all but man that Shake Shack over yonder is tempting. Ask yourself, what would Kim do? Since Dennis Rodman started advising him you can be sure he's all in for a classic ShackBurger and vanilla custard.
New plan, when the 3am call comes forget the detente and go straight to the nuclear option: Car Bots on the bathroom tv until the sun comes up.
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