Cactus Christmas Eve! Keep those reindeer away from the needles please.
Never should have doubted the jolly fat guy, he always gets it done. A little sand was never going to stop him. Plus, these reindeer need to get used to a post-snow world.
Lucky those elves have an alternative assembly line up north, what with the Trade War and all.
The Ace Hotel, Palm Springs. Peak hipster in the mid-century modern capital of the world.
"So let's think through this one more time. Christmas is over and I already got all my presents, including Optimus Prime. So Santa isn't watching any more. So why do I still need to be good?"
It can't be global warming Dad, every second car here is a Tesla.
That white-bearded Boomer just circumnavigated the world in under 24 hours and the borderline Millennial is out by 11am. Typical.
Mommy, how come our pool has a big green cover on it and this one is open?
Daddy, how come this pool has margarita service?
It's an airplane Piper. Better get used to it, Mommy and Daddy put us on lots of them.
Santa, you outdid yourself with that Optimus Prime.
Food's arriving!
The Children's Discovery Museum of the Desert. Nothing like a pretentious title to open those benefactors' wallets. You know what Pip, this lever exhibit would be a bit easier if you hadn't done that second breakfast burrito.
Learning valuable life lessons. Like how little a hundred bucks buys you at Whole Foods.
Mommy, this miso soup is exceptional. Why do I have to eat mac and cheese out of a cardboard box again?
Yes, in hindsight a chic communal table isn't highchair friendly.
Yes kids, it's called the great outdoors. No, there is no Paw Patrol at the end. Just a good old fashioned sense of satisfaction and some fresh air in lungs.
See, I told you it would be better than Saturday morning cartoons.
Yoga with a view. Does Lululemon make baby leggings?
Daddy, you did say we need to get outside and stretch our legs.
If you're going to pay exoribnant state taxes, maybe pick somewhere warm?
Saddle up team, the next Del Taco is 300 miles up the road.
The Big Zachary, swapping hipster Williamsburg for hipster Santa Monica.
Who was that who said there was no Paw Patrol at the end? He should run for President or something.
You can take the chef out of Williamsburg but you can't take the Williamsburg out of the chef.
A quick pitstop on the way to the airport to introduce the Pip to Great Grandma.
The big boys are coming in today.
Ahem, and then there's United.
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