Everest Expedition Part 1: Would you like a roast goose with that?

A blog about an epic quest to the conquer an infamous peak in a mystical land in the sky? Why this must be the place to relive tales of bottomless crevasses enveloped in shrouds of driving sleet so dense the shards of ice slice into the skin like thousands of tiny crampons, lacerating extremities already half numb with frostbite. This must be the place to see dramatic photos of endless frozen wastelands, punctuated only by the icy graves of those whose last pain-wrenched steps were towards an impossible summit they would never reach. This must be the place to relive the heroic exploits of a modest kiwi bloke who changed the world in between changing the honeycomb in his beehives.

Why then, do we start with a posh five star hotel?



Why because this is the J00ster Journal of course, where base camps come equip with silk robes and those little bottles of shampoo and body lotion.

High altitude acclimatization starts now, in the lofty Aqua Bar on the 30th floor of 1 Peking Place, high above the tangle of neon signs and alley noodle bars of Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon.

Hmmm... not seeing a lot of grizzled mountaineers swapping war stories over hearty backcountry brews. In fact, everyone here seems to have all their fingers intact; if not their wallets.

The average cost of a full scale Everest climb is north of $65,000. That's a lot of pocket change. In fact, it's enough to buy about 2.8 lychee martinis up here.

Sure mountains are impressive, but so is glass and steel. The latter has the added benefit that it can be enjoyed without worrying about whether it will be one's last view ever.

With the benefit of hindsight, we should have savoured the sashimi a bit more when we had the chance. Yak meat is bloody tough no matter how thinly you slice it.

One of the world's great skylines. If only this was one of the world's great blogs.

Rock searches in vain for the roast goose. The problem with avant garde international cuisine is just that, you can get it anywhere in the world, especially New York. Unlike juicy, plump goose, which seems to be restricted in habitat to the backstreets of Kowloon.

Baba knows exactly what it will take to get his daughter home more often. Try a whole flock of geese.

The legendary Nathan Road in Kowloon. If you can't get it on Nathan Road, then it doesn't exist. Or at least it's really, really hard to pirate.

So which one doesn't have red beans in it? A vexing question indeed.

The concentration of luxury labels here makes 5th Avenue look like aisle 5 in Costco.

Why go for cornflakes when you could start the day with roast goose?

Less than 18 hours (but 5 roast geese) in HK and it's already time to hit the road. Or rather the hopelessly polluted waterways. The fast ferry to the gambling mecca of Macau is almost sinking under the weight of the wads and wads of HK dollars destined smokey baccarat tables.

Anchors away chaps, the sooner we get going, the sooner we can double our Everest fund with some shrewed... investing.

HK harbor is one of the busiest in the world, even if you don't count the hordes of gamblers making the cross-harbor dash.