Adriatic Adventures Part 4: Coastal cruising

Next stop on the coastal road, the ancient Roman city of Split. Apart from having a darn cool name, this is a town that meets all the requirements for Awesomeness. Right on the crystal clear Adriatic. Check. A maze of cobbled alleys enclosed by towering Roman walls. Check. Wood-fired grilled fish served out of cheery hole-in-the-wall fisherman taverns. Check. And wait for it... wireless internet in our old town apartment. Check. After all, what's the point of all that awesomeness if you can't fire out that all important status update?

Another day, another old town to explore. Along the Adriatic coast old towns are so ubiquitous they might as well drop the old.

So let me get this straight, the latest craze in Croatian fast food is the McSpinach burger? Actually, after yet another grilled fish plate, that sounds kind of appealing.

The Roman history of the town is never far away. In the center lies a crumbling Roman forum, while around the outside the elegant arched walls hark back to a more civilized age. You know, an age when instead of tuning in to watch the Croatian football team in the Euro 2012 qualifiers, you could watch your favorite local criminals hack each other to death in a blood stained coliseum.

The outside of the west wall is where you can buy everything, including a pair of checkerboard Croatian swimming shorts that are the Adriatic analog of an I ♥ NY t-shirt. In other words, something only the most blatantly obvious tourist would be caught in. Needless to say, Rock was quick to slip on a pair.

Aren't you a little short for a Roman soldier?

Another picture perfect square. Which is cool if you were there, but is probably getting a little tiresome if you are reading about it on a blog.

Nothing like freshly squeezed orange juice to ward of the baking Mediterranean sun.

Just like the Croatian beauties who strut down Split's marbled promenades, the town itself isn't averse to a little self promotion, via a conveniently located viewing platform on the hill behind the town.

Rush hour on the Adriatic. The primary means of transport in these parts is the Jadrolinjia ferry line. With countless islands dotting the coast, there's really no other way to get around.

Still Life with Four Pots.

The centerpiece of the town is the elegant clock tower that rises high above the central forum. Like all good clock towers in Croatia, this one can be climbed... if one is willing to brave a dizzying series of catwalks that spiral up the inside of the tower.

The roofs of the old town haven't changed a whole lot over the centuries. The same might be said uncharitably about the interior of that Jadrolinjia ferry in the background. But more on that 12 hours of boredom in due course.

View from the top. Unfortunately the topless beach is a little too far away, despite Rock's best efforts with the zoom lens.

Watch your step, the quick way down isn't necessarily the most comfortable way down.

Is it just me, or do these stairs look like they are hanging in midair?

The zen-meister takes flight. The flight may be zen, but unfortunately the landing was somewhat less so.

Interior of a cylindrical Roman vestibule just off the central forum.

Roman ruins are all well and good, but you still need somewhere for the beautiful people to strut their stuff. Enter the Riva.

In the running for best meal of the trip - the hearty fare at a little konoba, or fisherman's tavern, just off the end of the Riva. 

As the sun sinks below the Adriatic, quiet descends over the back streets of the old town as the tourists scurry back to their hotels, leaving the... uhm... other tourists the opportunity for more photos.

Another glorious day dawns on the Dalmatian coast. Today's destination: the party island of Hvar, a short one hour catamaran ride off the coast.

Hvar has undergone quite a transformation in recent years, from a sleepy fishing and farming community to one of the hottest party spots in all of the Mediterranean. Quaint fleets of fishing boats have given way to a flotilla of sleek super yachts, disgorging their moneyed Euro-elite into glitzy beach side clubs and poncy restaurants. No doubt the island's star will continue to rise now that it has earned a coveted spot in the J00ster Journal.

The main square is deserted at midday. This is the kind of place where daylight hours are best spent nursing a hangover with a refreshing dip in the sparkling turquoise waters of the Adriatic, not wandering the scorching streets.

Luckily the founding fathers built their compact little fishing village with future postcard photographers in mind.

The countless islands of the Dalmatian coast are best explored by super yacht. Preferably in the company of some of the flawless locals, who could best be described as what you get when you cross a mermaid with a Victoria's Secret catalog.

Speaking of super yachts, this one could be the king of them all, with ultra sleek styling and wood paneling throughout. Buy one of these babies and you'd barely know you're out at sea. Which most of the time will be true, since let's face it, you don't buy one of these to wow a few passing fisherman out on the open seas.

Sails? Bah, they're for poor people. Unless of course we're talking the remote controlled, kevlar-enhanced, computer-trimmed variety that come standard on the latest Prius-of-the-seas, green-friendly super yachts that seem to be all the rage for the new age please-tax-me-more billionaire crowd.

You don't need a super yacht to sizzle.

Why hello Walter, yes if you could please pull the yacht around I'd be much obliged. And did you remember to refuel the helicopter and mini-sub?

As the sun sets, the cool people finally start to emerge from their day spas for another night of debauchery. Rock gets ready to hit the sack.

A konoba with a view. Would you like the grilled fish with vegetables, or the vegetables and grilled fish? Or perhaps I can tempt you with our special fish of the day, served grilled with vegetables?

It's party time! The side streets off the Riva come alive once the heat of the day gives way to the cooling evening breeze.

Lucky the water is warm, because before the night is out more than a few revelers are going to end up with a rather salty sobering up.

Let's get this party started! Uhm, the best way to do that would be to tuck Rock in to bed so he stops scaring away the cool people.

The morning after. A quick bite to eat and a coffee to settle the stomach before hopping on the Jadrolinjia ferry for the 12 hour long haul to the final stop, the legendary fortress city of Dubrovnik. By the way, cruising the Adriatic by ferry sounds quite glamorous, and it is... for the first 30 minutes or so...