According to the omnipresent Wikipedia, a Wilderness Area is "an area where the earth and community of life are untrammeled by man, where man himself is a visitor who does not remain". Poetic to be sure, but what it basically translates to is: the middle of nowhere. No cozy lodges or convenient RV hookups. No boardwalks with snazzy Fortune 500-sponsored interpretive signage. In fact, the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness is so remote the only way in or out is by, surprise surprise, canoe. So, who's ready to do some trammeling?
If that's trammeling then let's stick with twerking please.
The fact the gear barely fits inside an SUV is a bit of a concern given the only way around the rapids is a muddy portage where one must carry not just the monster green gear bags, but also the canoe itself. And we're not just throwing around the pronoun 'one' for the fun of it; when we say one we really do mean one, i.e. Rock; it's not like Mei is going to be carrying canoes or sliding through the mud with a 30 kg pack on her back.
A rustic logo and a sheet of tin foil is all there is between you and the vicious claws of nature? What's that? Oh we got the upgrade to Kevlar boats instead. That would be reassuring, except Kevlar never really stopped Rock's fencing opponents from penetrating his defenses with laughable ease...
Should I be concerned that this map doesn't seem to have a Google logo in the corner, or for that matter a handy box where I can type in a start and end destination? As in Start: Mosquito infested swamp; End: Anywhere with a hot shower.
On the subject of maps, pay careful heed to the horizontal red line, lest you end up at a canoe-thru Tim Hortons.
Take careful note of the yellow shaded bits of the map ladies. That's where the mosquitoes live.
A compass is one of those things you just don't use anymore. You know, like Yahoo.
Carrying a pack that is as tall as you are is somewhat problematic.
On second thoughts, no it isn't. Just load up the pack mule instead.
A purposeful stride like that can only mean one thing: it's time to saddle up folks. Or paddle up as the case may be.
Start here for adventure. The term wilderness is overused these days. For example to describe blocks in Brooklyn that aren't within a five minute walk of an artisanal purveyor of fair trade organic pour over coffees.
But where this boat is headed is real wilderness. As in the kind of wilderness where all you have is what you can hoist on your back and fit in a canoe. So why is Mei smiling? Well truth be told Rock didn't exactly elaborate on the fact the campsites don't have shower blocks and convenience stores. She'll find out soon enough.
Is that the international maritime signal for Oreo break?
Team KTV tearing up the waves. Nothing sets the paddling rhythm like some catchy Cantopop.
All hands on deck! The forward starboard engine has given out!
So you thought the title of this blog was just a witty play on the author's name? Alas if only it was as simple as a cringe worthy pun. It turns out canoes are not quite as stable as other water craft. Particularly when Rock takes a cavalier approach to what was supposed to be the first portage. "You call that a rapid? Full speed ahead!" The predictable result was a refreshing swim behind a flipped canoe and a waterlogged camera. The good news is, given the quality of J00ster photos, you won't really be able to tell that the camera has switched to a phone camera.
What a spot for a camp site, perched on some stones above the lake with no one else for miles. Even mother nature has taken pity on the waterlogged canoe-flippers and sent a beam of sun down to dry their gear.
Who's up for a swim? We can vouch from earlier experience that the water is quite warm.
This is how one generally wants to see an upside down canoe: on dry land not in the middle of the rapids.
One way to lighten the gear pack is to eat all the provisions on the first day.
Forget ketchup. Pine smoke is the new universal condiment that makes everything taste that much better.
Coffee brewed with pure glacial lake water. Coming soon to a Whole Foods coffee bar near you.
A game of cards is a great idea, until the mosquitoes decide they want in on a couple of hands. Literally.
The spectacular sunset is best observed from the comfort of this blog unless you want to take a DEET shower first.
Rachael braves the kamimozzie squadron. These beasts are coming in so thick and fast you can kill scores of them with one slap. But still they come.
Maybe we should just leave the food on the ground? By now the party would gladly take a black bear over the swarms of mosquitoes. Give us a mercifully quick death at the claws of a bear over the agonizing torture of death by a thousand bites.
Thankfully the tents were kept mosquito-free, which means the explorers survived to fight another day. Here Rock demonstrates his special fire-starting skills. The trick: blow a lot of hot air. No wonder he's good at it.
Looks like you might have enough energy to paddle for five minutes today?
Six miles of hard grind to paddle back to civilization doesn't leave much opportunity for photos. Especially if you're paranoid about taking your phone out of the dry bag for even a second lest Rock spot another rapid riding opportunity. So we'll finish with the biggest wildlife spotted on the trip: Snoopy.
If that's trammeling then let's stick with twerking please.
The fact the gear barely fits inside an SUV is a bit of a concern given the only way around the rapids is a muddy portage where one must carry not just the monster green gear bags, but also the canoe itself. And we're not just throwing around the pronoun 'one' for the fun of it; when we say one we really do mean one, i.e. Rock; it's not like Mei is going to be carrying canoes or sliding through the mud with a 30 kg pack on her back.
A rustic logo and a sheet of tin foil is all there is between you and the vicious claws of nature? What's that? Oh we got the upgrade to Kevlar boats instead. That would be reassuring, except Kevlar never really stopped Rock's fencing opponents from penetrating his defenses with laughable ease...
Should I be concerned that this map doesn't seem to have a Google logo in the corner, or for that matter a handy box where I can type in a start and end destination? As in Start: Mosquito infested swamp; End: Anywhere with a hot shower.
On the subject of maps, pay careful heed to the horizontal red line, lest you end up at a canoe-thru Tim Hortons.
Take careful note of the yellow shaded bits of the map ladies. That's where the mosquitoes live.
A compass is one of those things you just don't use anymore. You know, like Yahoo.
Carrying a pack that is as tall as you are is somewhat problematic.
On second thoughts, no it isn't. Just load up the pack mule instead.
A purposeful stride like that can only mean one thing: it's time to saddle up folks. Or paddle up as the case may be.
Start here for adventure. The term wilderness is overused these days. For example to describe blocks in Brooklyn that aren't within a five minute walk of an artisanal purveyor of fair trade organic pour over coffees.
But where this boat is headed is real wilderness. As in the kind of wilderness where all you have is what you can hoist on your back and fit in a canoe. So why is Mei smiling? Well truth be told Rock didn't exactly elaborate on the fact the campsites don't have shower blocks and convenience stores. She'll find out soon enough.
Is that the international maritime signal for Oreo break?
All hands on deck! The forward starboard engine has given out!
So you thought the title of this blog was just a witty play on the author's name? Alas if only it was as simple as a cringe worthy pun. It turns out canoes are not quite as stable as other water craft. Particularly when Rock takes a cavalier approach to what was supposed to be the first portage. "You call that a rapid? Full speed ahead!" The predictable result was a refreshing swim behind a flipped canoe and a waterlogged camera. The good news is, given the quality of J00ster photos, you won't really be able to tell that the camera has switched to a phone camera.
What a spot for a camp site, perched on some stones above the lake with no one else for miles. Even mother nature has taken pity on the waterlogged canoe-flippers and sent a beam of sun down to dry their gear.
Who's up for a swim? We can vouch from earlier experience that the water is quite warm.
This is how one generally wants to see an upside down canoe: on dry land not in the middle of the rapids.
One way to lighten the gear pack is to eat all the provisions on the first day.
Forget ketchup. Pine smoke is the new universal condiment that makes everything taste that much better.
Coffee brewed with pure glacial lake water. Coming soon to a Whole Foods coffee bar near you.
A game of cards is a great idea, until the mosquitoes decide they want in on a couple of hands. Literally.
The spectacular sunset is best observed from the comfort of this blog unless you want to take a DEET shower first.
Rachael braves the kamimozzie squadron. These beasts are coming in so thick and fast you can kill scores of them with one slap. But still they come.
Maybe we should just leave the food on the ground? By now the party would gladly take a black bear over the swarms of mosquitoes. Give us a mercifully quick death at the claws of a bear over the agonizing torture of death by a thousand bites.
Thankfully the tents were kept mosquito-free, which means the explorers survived to fight another day. Here Rock demonstrates his special fire-starting skills. The trick: blow a lot of hot air. No wonder he's good at it.
Looks like you might have enough energy to paddle for five minutes today?
Six miles of hard grind to paddle back to civilization doesn't leave much opportunity for photos. Especially if you're paranoid about taking your phone out of the dry bag for even a second lest Rock spot another rapid riding opportunity. So we'll finish with the biggest wildlife spotted on the trip: Snoopy.
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