After a whirlwind trip through the dusty back country it's time to unwind on the Mediterranean coast. The old town of Kaleici has slowly been engulfed by the metropolis of Antalya, but fortunately its old fortress walls have keep the encroaching modernity at bay, a time capsule where the fishing boats still set sail every dawn just have they have for centuries.
Hands off lads, this is a conservative country. Actually it's quite alright, the guys here are very touchy-feely, often holding hands when walking. Seems the section in the Bro Code on thou-shalt-not-touch-unless-it's-a-manly-chest-bump doesn't apply here.
The towering fortress walls have guarded the harbor jealously for centuries. That's wise, can't have marauding Trojans stealing our grilled fish sandwiches.
Sunset over the Mediterranean looks even better with an ice cold Efes at hand and a heaping bowl of seafood linguine.
In the interior once the sun goes down and the last call to prayer fades across the cool evening breeze things pretty much shut down for the night. Here in the city, if one ventures outside the old town walls, there's plenty of action. In fact, there's barely a headscarf to be seen and every coffee shop is pumping out the latest American pop hits.
Team J00ster warming up for... an early bedtime.
Exclusive look into a real life harem.
Q: What's the opposite of a harem? A: Sausage fest.
Isn't that Gandalf's chair?
Out and about in Kaleici. Sounds suspiciously like somewhere in Game of Thrones. Stand by for blood and gore.
It's always easy to get your bearings in a Turkish town, just look for the minarets and you'll find the town center.
Life within the old city walls moves as the pace it always has, namely glacial. There's ample time to lounge around over a coffee for hours. Manhattan this is not. Heck, it's not even Palmerston North, which is saying something.
The old fortress walls once cast a watchful shadow over the vital harbor at their base. Now they're the perfect place for taking in the glass smooth Mediterranean on a stunning spring day.
Looks like the day's catch is on its way in. The odds favor grilled fish for dinner tonight.
The secluded beach at the foot of the city walls looks tempting. File that away for this afternoon when the peak heat demands a cooling dip.
But first, a pirate cruise up the coast to plunder some bounty. Me hearties, I hear there's a galleon laden with bitcoins under full sail just over the horizon. Nothing aids a pirate's way of life like an untraceable cryptocurrency.
Stand by to unfurl the Jolly Roger.
Devan gets ready to repeal boarders.
Nice spot for a day of fishing. The falls keep one cool and the fish are plentiful. Hopefully some of that bounty makes in back to town in time for the evening grill up.
Back on dry land after an afternoon terrorizing the high seas. Alas by the time the bitcoins were secured and the remains of the galleon's charred timbers where drifting down into Davy Jones' Locker, the treasure had lost 90% of its value. Maybe that whole Federal Reserve thing isn't such a bad idea after all.
Sorry folks, I know when most of you picture a Mediterranean beach you're imagining French babes barely covered by flimsy strips of Louis Vuitton, if they bother with clothes at all.
Why hello ladies, would you like a private tour of my superyacht? It's the new eco-friendly model, that's why it's only got a pair of oars instead of dual RK280 diesels weighing in at a combined 12,000 horsepower. Anyway, you think a body like this comes from sipping champagne in a wood paneled captain's suite with chrome highlighting?
So this is why most people go on vacation to sit on a beach instead of spending all day slogging along a scorching trail or dragging oneself to the next 5am flight. Believe it or not, it's kind of relaxing. Who would have thought.
The Amigos are on the prowl. Look out ladies, they've got a couple hours and three lite beers up their sleeves before their 11pm bedtime. The night is but young. Unfortunately they're anything but.
Club Ally is one of those outdoor super clubs that are all the rage on the Mediterranean coast. Unfortunately, being a Muslim country it's a bit of a sausage fest. There's a reason those draconian bouncers in the Meatpacking District manage the girls-to-guys ratio.
Avert your eyes now Mr. Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, it's quite possible your country isn't quite as conservative as you think.
A nice end to a blog post, so to speak.
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