One hour Uber to the airport seem long? Bad news, still 23 left to go.
It was the blink of an eye and an eternity ago, those glistening, golden, deep fried chicken wings at Manawatu Street. It's time. Home is calling, like the cry of a Morepork drifting through the stillness of the bush, as the sun's last rays bring Colin McCahon to the barren hills. More pork fried rice did you say? At Fishtown? Yes please!
If you're going to circumnavigate, it helps to have Saks on Fifth linens. Am I right Magellan?
If Howard Shore's crescendo as the camera soars over the Southern Alps doesn't get you in the mood for some Middle Earth, you probably have orcish blood in veins.
Land ho! Runny nose, itchy eyes, sneezing already? Yep, passes all tests: Aotearoa is in sight!
Haere mai!
And that's why you fly all the way around the world. For Christmas on the beach. For the riotous bloom of the Pohutukawa. For chocolate fish to garnish your creamy flat white.
A flat white a day keeps the jetlag away.
Let me tell you son, back in my day the meat pies were twice that size.
We will fight them on the beaches, we will... oh who are we kidding, we can't be bothered, there's cricket on the radio and fish and chips spread over last week's newspaper.
You know this is a volcano, right? If you see smoke, you're heading in the right direction.
Kiwi as bro.
It must be summer because there's no condensation blocking the view.
I'm a purist, stick with a fern mate.
New Zealand's favorite biscuits. Brought to you by Australia.
Hang on a second, either you're one bent elbow away from an ICC disciplinary hearing or the World Series is finally living up to its name.
You know it's a Kiwi summer when... the water is still too cold to go in.
The real McCoy. Not to be confused with the real McCaw.
Ahoy maties, got any stubbies aboard?
The kids are worried Santa might be too hot delivering presents in his furs in the Southern Hemisphere. No risk of that in NZ, it's a Kiwi summer after all, be lucky to crack 40... Fahrenheit.
Milo cereal for Christmas breakfast. These kids will never know the frustration of stirring a glass of milk for half an hour and still not seeing it dissolve.
Brotown. 801 South 11th Street.
So get this cuz, in America Santa drives this big blue truck that comes from the Amazon rainforest.
Does anyone tip their barista here? Because that man deserves an extra buck for holiday spirit.
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