Blackberry Juice: The big chopsticks at Zhangjiajie

Before we get to the main event (or rather to pad out a fairly short main event) a few random observations:

Chinglish. Its every where. English translations were once the domain of only the largest and most foreigner-worthy sights, and only the most officious-looking State departments. Now, with Google translations only a click away, every nacent global empire, from the corner Very Taibei Photomax Co Limited to the Wahahaha China Top Brand Purified Water for Drinking Co, feels the urge to embrace globalism as never before. Its been 20 years since Deng Xiaoping proclaimed "to get rich is glorious". Apparently an English slogan is the first step on that path. Hence helpful translations that range from bemusing ("let discourse of man and nature be heavenly" - the most poetic don't litter sign in a while), to the somewhat tautological ("in fire event, don't get burn" on a hotel evacuation map) to the just plain bizzare ("earth department" is the helpful translation for "bread" at the hotel buffet). Trust the commies to create a whole department for the loaving of bread.

Which brings us to the subject of communism. Marx would turn in his grave to see the rather liberal interpretation the Party takes. People (as in individuals, not the euphamism for the State) can own property. They can run businesses. The brand new highway system puts most western nations top shame. The railways are undergoing a radical bullet train driven revamp. Domestic airtravel is taking off exponentially. All they are missing is elections. And having sat through the mind-numbing tedium that was Debnam vs Iemma in the NSW state election, it's hard to convincingly argue they're missing out on all that much. But relics of the bygone age do exist. Take Chinese "fast" food joints. Wander in, order a meal and eat - simple right? Wrong. The first step is to identify which counter (yes there are multiple counters) is the ordering counter. After careful analysis Rock determined the process of entering and chosing the initial counter is best modelled by a random walk process. Once one reaches the initial counter, one places an order and exchanges a wad of yuan for a series of cryptic cards. Take these mystical runes and wander around some more until you stumble on a second counter where you can offload them. Then go and find a seat. Eventually, somewhere from the bowels of the kitchen someone will scream out an order and you can leap up and start looking for the third counter, where you can get your order. If you're lucky, you might even remember what you actually ordered half a marathon ago.

And now, since no one will make it this far, I can spend five seconds on the main sight of the last two days - Zhangjiajie. That's not a slight on this fine destination - its just a recognition that reading about scenery is extremely boring (or at least writing about it is, so tough luck). The area is, rightly, famous for its natural rock formations - jutting pilliars of stone carved out over the aeons by the wind and rain. These mighty chopsticks of rock (as opposed to the definite article - the Mighty Chopsticks of Rock - which having been carving a mighty swathe through rice bowls from Yunnan to Hunan) tower over 300m above a series of forested ravines. With such evocative names as the Heavenly Platform and the Imperial Writing Brush Peaks, its hard not to get transported back through the dynasties while gazing up and the ageless stone. At least it is until Rock decides they are best modelled with a raised middle finger...

Next up, the final stop on this odessey - the vast Three Gorges Dam.