An elegant cuppa, for a more civilized age. America may run on great gulps of tepid Dunkin, but over here in olde London towne, beverages come with a little bit more class. Those drinking them on the other hand...
And you thought Massey had a monopoly on selling out to the burgeoning middle class yuan. If you can pay he international student fee, we'll find a way to hem the robes.
Just what we need, someone with real-world experience in library book stacking. Hang on, around here it's scroll rolling and manuscript folding.
Believe it or not, wearing robes to class and taking your meals in the Great Hall does not automatically mean you can fly around on a broomstick.
Yeah, yeah, so Trinity Hall, Christ's, and Pembroke are a little more elegant than Science Tower A, B, and C, but are their milkshakes as good? I think not.
Come on ladies, you shouldn't need a major in Geography to interpret a map. Unless of course it's the new Apple maps, in which case you need a major in Quantum Mechanics to understand how a wormhole twisted the topology of London into a mobius strip.
Such antics are unbecoming in such a hallowed place of learning. I believe you may be looking for Awatapu College.
You do realize this is an all male dorm right? Probably best not to speculate on what that group of pimply Comp Sci freshmen are up to in the window over yonder.
Massey has one thing in common with this celebrated institution: they both let animals graze around their halls of learning. The difference is what their respective student bodies choose to do with said animals.
A wagon? Really? That's the best you've got? You'd think someone who went perfect in his A Levels would be able to design a hovercraft or something. At least at Massey we'd hitch a sheep to the front.
Massey students are used to crossing a bridge to get to campus. The only difference is this one spans a picturesque, willow-lined brook instead of a frigid, windswept expanse of icy water.
So does the rent on this flat include utilities? Yeah, if by utilities you mean wood for the fire and whale blubber for the lamps.
No excessive noise? What's that choking sound then? Must be another pretentious toft realizing daddy's peerage will only get you so far.
Had enough academic snobbery for one day? Time to head back to London for some nightlife. Or in Rock's case, some eveninglife.
For New Yorkers used to living on a Piet Mondrian canvas, the Seven Dials - a place where seven streets converge - is a novel concept. How can you have seven degrees of uptown and downtown?
The good news is, regardless of which of the seven streets one chooses, all roads lead to the pub. Or at least a pub. They all look kind of the same and share generic names like The Crown or The White Hart.
There's lots of traditions in England - complaining about the weather, sucking at sports you invented, losing in penalty shootouts - but this one takes the cake, as it were.
99% of the time if one starts singing in London, this sign will be accurate.
No, that's not a karaoke club.
The return of Lord Byron. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but when did you last see someone flick with a pen?
Aren't you a little overdressed for a Bond girl?
That's more like it. Bond always needs one for each arm.
Eggs. Scrabbled not poached.
The Victoria and Albert Museum is an unheralded gem in a city overflowing with esteemed cultural institutions.
Remarkable, fourth trip to London in the last 12 months, and not a single day of rain. For a blog that peddles in cheap stereotypes this wipes out half the author's material.
Somehow I don't think our Ikea entry table is designed to hold the family silverware. Especially after Rock's assembly effort.
That's what they all taking a spin.
The Natural History Museum of London has almost 100 million specimens but let's be honest, everyone is here to see the dinosaurs.
If that's not worthy of a rousing Jurassic Park theme, nothing is. Conveniently, the London Symphony Orchestra is just up the road.
Nothing like a bit of dramatic mood lighting to get kids excited about science.
Looks like that whole DNA from mosquitoes in amber works after all. Which means the Raptor herd is already flanking you while you're distracted by the T Rex.
Jet d'eau - rough translation: that darn big fountain - is a landmark visible from anywhere in the city. Which says more about the size of the city than the magnitude of the jet.
Jahan? It seems Jared has an off-balance sheet vehicle incorporated in Switzerland.
Any time a city has to spice things up with a giant fountain, beware. Canberra anyone? Actually, that's a little unfair, Geneva may be a little sleepy, but that's because everyone is underground counting their gold bars and hiding from the IRS.
My dear sir, which way to the fondue?
For a city overrun with watch shops, time sure does move slowly here.
It's not Swiss fare until you dunk each one in molten cheese.
A fountain by night is still a fountain. It seems Genevan nightlife is pretty much limited to strolling down to the waterfront to watch a few million gallons of water shoot skyward.
Nothing like a big fountain to tell you a city is trying to compensate for something.
Old and older.
Nothing like a bit of tax evasion to fund some nifty civic works, like these cool glowing paving stones for example.
When you're the type of person who banks in Switzerland, you don't buy beer by the bottle, you buy the brewery.
Everything goes with molten cheese.
Careful where you point that thing. We're Swiss, we're neutral, we don't believe in war, we just finance it. Preferably both sides.
There are certain benefits to having those annoying French neighbors.
Speaking of France, the ludicrously picturesque French village of Annecy is only a stone's throw from the shores of Lake Geneva.
Notice how this town doesn't need a grandiose fountain to keep people entertained.
I thought they had a one child policy in China? I didn't know you had a sister?
Is it ok to hate their rugby team but love their food?
How many Euro for the one with glasses?
No wonder it's called the Venice of France. Refreshingly, this one isn't sinking under a herd of waddling cruise ship ballast.
What was that about waddling cruise ship ballast?
Ooh la la mademoiselle!
Not too bad at all for a place with a 75% tax rate. Socialism without four hour queues for bread, maybe this Hollande dude is onto something other than women for once.
Rock surveys the canal-side pad he's going to pounce on as soon as the Euro goes under. Come on Greece, you can do it, one strike at a time, stay focused.
The mighty Alps tower in the background. And will remain in the background since the little manual hatchback Rock rented isn't really going to be climbing Mont Blanc any time soon.
Rock strategizes on the siege options at hand. Catapult or trebuchet? Plague-infested horse carcass or flaming tar ball? Or does an impenetrable wall like this call for the most drastic and painful assault of all: forking over the five Euro entry fee.
Mei is a big fan of the 38 hour work week. So much so that she's single-handedly pioneering the movement in America.
China accelerates its plans to get a man on the moon. Out of 1.3 billion, surely one of them will jump high enough?
Rock's little Renault keeps lofty company.
Next stop - not counting the relative stop as the Ferrari whizzed by - the Unesco World Heritage listed vineyard terraces of Lavaux. The remarkable thing about them is that they are carved into the steep slopes overlooking Lake Geneva, forming a verdant green blanket of vines that cascade down the hillside.
White or red? Mei doesn't care, alcohol is a colorless after all.
If you look carefully, you might spot a vine of the famous Wuhanese Merlot. Known for its exceptionally large, round grape with bitingly tart interior.
In Rock's opinion, they taste a lot better before they go in the bottle.
Don't even think about eating part of a World Heritage Site.
Last stop on the lakeside tour, the ramparts of Chillon Castle.
These days the best way to lay siege is to cut their internet cable. The inhabitants won't last more than 24 hours under such inhumane conditions.
A hidden boat dock. Useful for smuggling spies out and mistresses in.
Hungry work this travel business. The only thing that works up a bigger appetite is blogging about it.
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