Quitaly Part 3: A 3.5 Star Movement

Four down, one to go. Villages that is, not blog posts. Sorry.

Daddy if you want to look at little colored houses all day I can just dump my Legos out again.

Like the other villages Verzanna has quickly realized that catching Instagram likes is a lot easier than fish.

Good angle son, but next time remember to take your diaper off before marking your territory.

Mommy, say pizza. In Italian.

So do you want to eat for the blue team or the yellow team for lunch?

The old fortress that towers over the town offers plenty of vantage points to make sure rival villages aren't trying to poach your tourists.

Markets in New York and London are plunging as the populist insurgence in Italy once again calls into question the solidarity of the Eurozone. Meanwhile the locals appear less than concerned.

Daddy are you sure you've got this thing buckled up right?

Gelato since 1968? That's like the pre-hashtag era. Back them spreading FOMO among your followers required a rectangular cardboard device known as a postcard.

Nothing impresses the Italian belles like a gelato belly drooping over a waterlogged diaper.

The only way to get the authentic fishing village experience is by water of course. Where authentic is used in the How Can I Make My Generic Mass Market Brand Appeal to the Millennials sense. Think curated, faux-vintage knickknacks, plenty of exposed concrete, maybe an artfully staged #vanlife photo shoot.

Fast ship? Kid, this is the boat that did the Corniglia run in under one diaper change.

Daddy shall we let Mommy drive for a bit? Not unless you want to end up in Libya.

Remember son, when the Coast Guard boards tell them you'll only speak to Mrs. Merkel.

Daddy how come we're riding on a boat that blows up like a balloon instead of this beast?

Careful son, that looks like a pirate lair to me. On second thought there may be some hard bullion in there we can use to hedge the Lira devaluation.

Daddy, I heard they're turning away little boats like ours before they can land. Next time maybe rent a superyacht?

Now Daddy that's what I call a 3.5 Star Movement. Minus one for no bikini-clad supermodels and 0.5 for the lack of champagne bucket.