Please tell me watching TV for three hours isn't going to be the highlight of your trip.
So let me tell you kids, before they added the Plus this was like, cutting edge.
It's only a lazy river if you let mom and dad sit around and read their phones.
Orange is the New Relax.
The Four Seasons knows service. The artisanal organic real fruit ice pop is presented to madame on a silver platter.
Poolside smores, now that's a first. It also means it's bloody freezing.
It's kind of cold. Must be why they don't believe in global warming in Florida.
The problem with the TikTok generation is no one actually knows who Minnie is. Dad, why is a big mouse lady blocking my path to the buffet?
What is this, Puglia or something?
From the corners of the world the crew assembled on the eve of the epic voyage. A voyage to far off lands, where adventure and alcohol await.
The Disney Wish, the newest, biggest ship in the fleet. You've come a long way since the Big Red Boat dad, she'd barely qualify as a lifeboat on this beast.
Welcome to the Happiest Place on International Waters. Ok, technically that's the adults only pool.
Hello Princess, are you included in the pre-paid gratuities?
So they let you operate the Death Star in the kids club? Doesn't that make you a Colonizer-Oppressor?
Is it makeover time yet?
Remember, no TV until we're over the Bermuda Triangle.
Remember, when they bang on the door at 2am and smoke is filling the hall, it's not a drill. Get yourself to the muster station and Ryan, do not stop at the buffet!
Are they those Platinum Diamond Titanium Neodymium Castaway Club members who get first dibs on the Princess Suite?
These aren't the kids you're looking for. No wait, they are! Please come back and take them to the kids club. Please?
That's no moon. It's a space station!
Lock up the princesses, the boys are off duty. You'll find them nerd herding in the Hyperspace Lounge.
Make a wish. And assume it's not included in the pre-pay package.
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