Vehicular progress in India is always a question of how many cows lie between you and you destination.
Since running over a cow will damage your car, wallet, and - if you're Hindu - your chances of coming back in life 2.0 as something other than a gnat, it pays to make periodic caffeine stops. Fortunately, there are lots of roadside chai tea stalls.
Why is it that the more dubious the kitchen looks, the better the food? Less cleaning, more cooking seems to be the philosophy. That's Mei's philosophy too. Without the more cooking park.
The bustling city of Jodhpur is a world apart from the hippie enclave of Pushkar. The focal point is the mighty Mehrangarh Fort that towers over the famous blue-washed walls of the houses below.
Next time maybe you want to pick one that doesn't have horns?
The streets of Jodhpur feel like one big market. It seems everyone is trying to sell you something, or take you to someone who would like to try to sell you something.
Half of India seems to meet in the main square every day for a spirited haggling match.
The only thing not for sale are the numerous cows that have free reign to wander the stalls. Unfortunately, the novelty quickly wears off when one realizes that fruit carts and the... err... leftovers from a herd of happy go lucky cows don't really mix all that well. Unless you're a fly.
Which way to the Louis Vuitton sari store?
When in India it's always best to just close your eyes and enjoy it. What you don't see can't hurt you, right?
No one obeys the parking regulations in India, so why should the cows?
No shopping bags needed here.
You can't make butter chicken without tomatoes. Although one would hope you can make it without the accompanying flies.
The veges look remarkably fresh, must be all that readily available cow manure. Why all you have to do is scrape it straight off your shoes into the garden.
Mei is not sure how to shop without a mouse. You mean you actually have to move your head?
Don't they have Fresh Direct out here?
If you can make it to the end of the street without being (a) run over by a tuk-tuk, (b) gored by a sacred cow, or (c) dive bombed by a squadron of malarial mosquitoes, then congratulations, you can turn the corner and do it all again on the next block.
Battered green and yellow tuk-tuks are as ubiquitous as yellow cabs in Manhattan. In fact, this is where most the NY cabbies probably learned their trade. If you can navigate these streets, 6th Ave is gonna be a walk in the park.
So this is what 1.2 billion people looks like.
The key to not getting lost: keep the clock tower in sight at all times. And don't follow Mei...
Jodhpur is famous for its spices. Anyone for a special edition masala fire mix?
Best table in the house. Sweeping views of the clock tower square on one side, and the mighty Mehrangarh Fort on the other.
It doesn't get any better than this. Until the food arrives that is.
Unanimously voted best dish of the trip: a succulent lamb curry lavished in creamy white sauce. Of course, even a McTandoori would taste good with a backdrop like this.
All quiet in the market. With the electricity about as reliable as the hot water tap, things pretty much operate on the sun's schedule.
Perhaps the fort has its own generator.
Speaking of forts, as day breaks its time for the final assault on the imposing fortress Mehrangarh.
The formidable array of primary defenses includes a well paved road and a ticket booth.
They don't call it the Blue City for nothing. Perhaps you get a tax break for painting your house blue. No that can't be it; no one pays taxes in India.
These warriors from a distant land sure do have a weird idea of armor.
The towering ramparts of Mehrangarh. What priceless treasures lie buried beneath these ancient walls? What whispered horrors linger in these forgotten dungeons? Uhm, number 8 on the audio guide will probably tell you. Archaeology just isn't what it used to be.
You can't see the cow patties from up here.
After breaching the perimeter, the inner keep looms large. Will it take more than a fistful of Rupees to break through the next line of defense? Not likely, nothing greases the wheels around here like a Rupee or two... hundred.
Nice digs.But does the hot water work?
If you're really a princess, how come you don't have one of those handheld chair thingees to take you up the hill in style?
Probably because this dude is too cheap to buy one. At least until Toyota gets into the sedan chair market.
Will someone get all these tourists out of my house.
Where do they make the curries around here?
Looks like there was time for a bit of fun between subjugating rival city-states.
Yeah it's cool and artsy and all, but as far as windows go it seems to lack a key ingredient. Like transparency.
The penthouse has a view to die for. Which one suspects more than a few invaders learned first hand.
The problem with living is an impregnable fortress is the cable guy has a hard time getting in too. Which means a lot of sitting around in windows.
No wonder the fort is still standing after 500 years. It's not exactly the kind of place were you can just wander right in. Oh wait, we just did.
500 years? It will be lucky to survive five days with Rock captaining the defenses.
On a less militant note, time for some more Taj Mahal appetizers.
Mei does her best to get Bollywood's attention. Hate to break it to you, but you probably should have picked a different blog if you wanted someone to actually, like, read it.
And with that, it's on to the jungle temples of Ranakpur.
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